Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Chris Klein

Who Is Suri’s Biological Father?

A photo of Suri Cruise

The idea that Tom Cruise is not the biological father of Suri isn’t new, not by a long shot. Way back when Suri was born, there were conspiracies about the paternity. Here’s a quick summary, since 2006 was a long time ago: Katie broke up with Chris Klein in March of 2005, and she began dating Tom just a few weeks later. Suri was born in April of 2006. BUT the public didn’t get a glimpse of Suri until months later, and her birth certificate wasn’t issued until three weeks after she was actually born, so was she really born in April? There were a lot of suspicious things happening surrounding Katie’s pregnancy and Suri’s birth, which could either be chalked up to those wacky Scientologists or a different story of conception than the one we heard. So basically, a lot of people think that Chris Klein could have fathered Suri right before that breakup.

But it’s not 2005 anymore, and Katie is no longer under the spell of Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise’s cult. She is her own woman now, and it looks like she’s raising Suri to be her own woman as well. So naturally, Tom is horrified. He’s pissed that these rumors are still coming up, and he’s upset that the rumors could one day cause Suri to request a paternity test. Then, of course, there’s the possibility that Tom’s “unyielding need for control” would potentially cause him to refuse to take the paternity test that may or may not ever come up at all, and then what would happen to his relationship with Suri?

Look, I know this is sort of a silly story – it’s from the Enquirer, after all – but I think it’s interesting. The original story mentions rumors that Suri’s biological dad could be the aforementioned Chris Klein, or Katie’s Dawson’s Creek lover, Joshua Jackson, or possibly Josh Hartnett. There’s also the super fun thought that Katie could have been inseminated with the frozen sperm of L. Ron Hubbard, which is my personal favorite. But what do you think?

If Tom isn’t Suri’s father – I’m bad at babies, remember? – then I’d say Chris Klein is the only other possibility. It’s not that I think Suri doesn’t look anything like Tom, but I could definitely see where the Chris Klein rumors come from. Take a look at that punk:

A photo of Chris Klein

He and Suri have similar eyes, right? Yeah, I’d say that’s a solid possibility.

Chris Klein Almost Died From Booze

A photo of Chris Klein

Oh man, Chris Klein, right? If he doesn’t reek of the year 2000, I don’t know who does. Remember when he was so popular? He was all over Tiger Beat and Twist, and he even dated Katie Holmes, and I always pretended to love him even though I didn’t think he was all that cute. But American Pie! Here on Earth! … Other movies! These are classics and I do have to respect him for that.

I also have to respect him for having a major alcohol problem and turning it around, and then having the courage to talk about it.

From People:

Chris Klein became an overnight heartthrob after starring in Election and the 1999 breakout hit American Pie.

“It was nothing short of magic,” says the actor, of his early stardom – something he quickly learned wouldn’t last forever.

Klein slid into a battle with alcoholism that nearly cost him his career – and his life.

“I would have died, and I think about that every single day,” the actor, 33, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive new interview.

After two DUI arrests and a jail sentence, the Nebraska-reared actor knew he had to turn his life around. Now nearly 19 months sober, Klein opens about his struggles for the first time.

“It got to the point where I was a fragile shadow of the young man that came into this business,” he says. “Today, I’m the luckiest guy alive.”

See what I mean? That’s respectable, right? And I have to say, after all these years and all these issues, he is looking quite a bit cuter. Could 2012 be Chris Klein’s year?

Here’s Some American Reunion Stills!

photo of chris klein and jason biggs on the set of american reunion pictures photos trailer

Can you guys seriously believe that American Pie came out twelve years ago? TWELVE YEARS AGO. It was on television the other night and I happened to catch, like, the last twenty minutes of it and it took me way, way back. I was sixteen when the movie came out and it seems like it was just yesterday. Frightening, really, how fast the time has gone since 1999.

Either way, it’s pretty awesome that they’re making a reunion movie, because not only will it be fun to reminisce over with old friends, it’s giving Tara Reid and Chris Klein the only jobs they’ve had in years. You just know that’s the mark of a good movie: one that serves multiple purposes, you know?

Were the American Pie movies (well, at least the first one anyway, they all kind of sucked hard after the first one) an integral part of your adolescence, too?