Well, Mother Monster is going to be pissed. Lady GaGa and Cher have been teasing a duet – a song called ‘The Greatest Thing’ – since 2011 but there was never any formal release set for it, not even on Artpop, which isn’t coming out for a couple months anyway. Now the song’s been leaked – the second to do so in a week – and everyone’s all up in arms over it. Well, Cher is at least – GaGa has been uncommonly quiet.
Here’s the track:
And here’s Cher’s hilarious tweet (she’s the best at Twitter, in case you forgot):
Just heard TGT ! FUCK ! IT’S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT FUCKING VERSION!!! WHY DO PPL THINK THIS KINDA LEAKING SHIT IS OK !
I’m so Fg DISSAPOINTED
Cher is pretty much the best ever. Seriously – if you don’t follow her on Twitter, you’re not really living life because she is HILARIOUS. Also, did you see her perform ‘Woman’s World’ on the finale of The Voice? If not, GET THEE TO YOUTUBE because it’s incredible. What other 67-year-old do you know who is still killing fierce drag club tracks with the best of em? None.
In any case, Cher went on Watch What Happens Live this past week, during which she admitted to having lots of sex with Tom Cruise back in the day (his pre-Scientology days, that is) and also the fact that she’s slept with plenty of women, too. Get it, Cher!
“He wasn’t a Scientologist then. It was pretty hot and heavy for a little minute. He’s a great guy. The person that I knew was a great and lovable guy. He was in the top five! I’ve just had the greatest lovers ever.”
Now THAT’s a shock. I’m more shocked that Tom Cruise was in her top lovers than I am that she had sex with women. Tom, who knew you had it in you? Or had it in Cher, I guess would be more appropriate. Ya learn something new every day.
Girlfriend is looking an awful lot like Frieda from Peanuts these days, correct me if I’m wrong. Frieda was always considered ‘one of the pretty ones,’ where Peppermint Patty was probably the grimiest, so I suppose it’s saying something that Cher is trying to emulate the hottest Peanuts character going. Word, woman, and keep doing your thing.
However, we all can’t walk around identifying with cartoons, because if we could, I’d totally be rocking Jem – that girl had legs up to there.
Whatever. This is Cher at the London premiere of Burlesque, and it looks like the cast of the movie has been doing a lot of hard drugs and acting impetuously due to the effect of said drugs. I mean, there’s really no other explanation for this, right?
“I enjoyed them all! I never felt I chose badly, and I was always happy when the next man came along. I can usually last about two years with a man, and that’s it. The moment the relationship goes into the phase of more commitment, it changes.”
Cher, referring to dating Tom Cruise, Richie Sambora, and Val Kilmer in their younger days.
Cher was on David Letterman’s show the other night and one topic that came up was her daughter, Chaz. Chaz used to be Chastity until she underwent gender reassignment story and started living as a man. Cher hasn’t always been the most supportive mother so her the explanation she gave Dave about her daughter’s current state has been ripped apart the last couple days.
‘She was a lesbian. She still is. But it’s not the same now. She has a beautiful girlfriend. But it’s not the same thing as being a homosexual, you feel as if you’re in the wrong body. I was saying to someone the other day, I really like being a woman, I feel so comfortable in my body, and if I woke up and I was in a man’s body, I’d think oh my god, I’ve got to get out of here. And that’s the way Chas felt, it was never comfortable. He’s very comfortable now.’
OK, so I can understand why people might be pissed off that she called her daughter both a he and a she in the interview, but guys… Cher is like, old. And she’s Cher. Do I think it’s right that she hasn’t managed to figure out what gender her daughter is addressing herself as by now? Not really. Ironic considering how large her gay fan base is? Totally. But I can also see why this older woman who kind of lives in a bubble of her own fame would have a hard time nailing down all the trans-friendly terminology out there. It’s not easy!
I’m not saying that Cher didn’t mess up, but I think we should ease up on her until someday our own daughters come to us and tell us they’re living in the wrong body. Then we can see how second nature referring to your female child as a male is and judge as harshly as we want to.
When I was little, Sonny and Cher would be on TV when I was getting ready for school. I’d be putting on my sweet stirrup pants and avoiding my brother and sister smoking a joint to get through the bus ride to high school while being transfixed with this woman. Cher and I go way back. How lovely it is for me, and indeed, for all mankind, that Cher has been a powerhouse of fierceness from the mid 1960′s until today. Now let’s look at some excerpts from her Vanity Fair interview.
On the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s inability to recognize: “Sonny and I still aren’t in the [Rock and Roll] Hall of Fame, and it just seems kind of rude. Sonny was a good writer, and we started something that no one else was doing. We were weird hippies before there was a name for it, when the Beatles were wearing sweet little haircuts and round-collared suits…. We influenced a generation, and it’s like: What more do you want?”
On Chaz: “If I woke up tomorrow in a guy’s body, I would just kick and scream and cry and fucking rob a bank, because I cannot see myself as anything but who I am—a girl. I would not take it as well as Chaz has. I couldn’t imagine it. She’s a very smart girl—boy! This is where I get into trouble. My pronouns are fucked. I still don’t remember to call her ‘him.’”
On her work ethic: “I feel like a bumper car. If I hit a wall, I’m backing up and going in another direction. And I’ve hit plenty of fucking walls in my career. But I’m not stopping. I think maybe that’s my best quality: I just don’t stop.”
On Sarah Palin: “I got so obsessed with [C-SPAN] that it was kind of interfering with my life. Sarah Palin came on, and I thought, Oh, fuck, this is the end. Because a dumb woman is a dumb woman.”
On aging: “I think Meryl [Streep] is doing it great. The stupid bitch is doing it better than all of us! But I don’t like it. It’s getting in my way. I have a job to do, and it’s making my job harder.”
I love this woman. Anyone who can sing a song as catchy as “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” and call Meryl Streep a stupid bitch (jokingly, of course) gets a solid approval rating in my book.