Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron Would Have Ten More Kids If They Were Like Her First

All-around cool lady Charlize Theron adopted a baby boy named Jackson back in May 2012 and not only is he WAY TOO CUTE, he’s also apparently the best kid ever. The actress was asked if she wanted more kids (of course she was) and she revealed that she totally would, if Jackson was anything to go on.

From E! News:

And speaking of Jackson, Theron says she wants more kids…kinda.

“More?” she asked with a big smile. “I don’t know. I mean, if all my kids could be like Jackson, I’d have 10 more right now.”

Theron’s mom, Gerda, chimed in, “I’d love her to have more.”

Theron laughed, “She’s always asking me when.”

It’s so funny that moms always want grandkids. I suppose it’s because they have the luxury of spoiling them rotten and then being able to give them back to the parents when they get unruly. I’m sure Charlize is as great of a mom as she is everything else and I love picturing her with a small tribe of children. That’s all I really have to say about that one.

Charlize Theron Rescues a Seizure-Suffering Security Guard at the Oscars

Charlize Theron is one of those actresses I don’t have much of an opinion on either way – she’s a pretty okay actress, she doesn’t seem overly vain and is probably generally pretty cool, so she’s okay in my book. That became even more true this morning since it was revealed that she helped a security guard who was having a seizure before the Oscars started last night.

From E News:

Not only is Charlize Theron beautiful, but she’s also a life saver.

The gorgeous Hollywood star rushed to help a security guard who was suffering from a seizure at the Dolby Theater tonight before the Oscars began, E! News confirms.

Yes, in a gown and all.

The actress was one of the few people around the man when he went down, and attempted to help him up, before someone else phoned a doctor.

Okay, I realise that trying to help the guy up is what any decent human being would do in the situation and isn’t exactly a heroic feat. Still, you know if it was like, Julia Roberts or some shit, she would pretend she didn’t see him or feign confusion or something. I don’t know why I’m picking on Julia Roberts, but let’s go with it.

Here’s hoping the security guard in question is okay.

Kim Kardashian And Charlize Theron Are Twinsies!

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Charlize Theron

That’s Kim Kardashian headed out to do a recent appearance on The Today Show on the left. And on the right, that’s Charlize Theron at last year’s BAFTA Awards. These two have absolutely nothing in common besides the fact that they are both humans with the same kind of chromosomes. Well, they both have two arms and two legs and two eyes and all that, but let’s not break it down this far when you know exactly what I mean. Kim Kardashian and Charlize Theron are very, very different people.

And now they’re two very, very different people wearing the same dress. Isn’t it funny how life works?

But even though Charlize wore the dress first – almost a whole year before Kim, in fact – does that mean she wore it better? I don’t know. Well, no, that’s not exactly true. I probably do know. I’m going to have to give this one to Charlize. It’s the cut of the dress, mostly. See, Kim is absolutely addicted to wearing peplum dresses and tops, but it’s really just not the most flattering thing for her. And I’m not hating, I’ve seen a lot of peplum styles that are super, super cute, but I’m just not comfortable with a useless layer of fabric that’s only purpose is to highlight the size of my ass. I just can’t get behind it.

Charlize, however, is obviously a lot less curvy, and I think she pulls this off well. But what about the color? The lighting of a street is a lot different than the lighting of a red carpet, so I’m not really sure. I would imagine Kim would be the one to rock the color yellow over Charlize, but what do I know? Not a lot. About coloring, that is. I don’t know a lot about coloring. What do you think?

But all this analyzing is besides the point, really. Because nothing else matters when you’re TWINSIES! Yay, twinsies!

Love It or Leave It: Charlize Theron’s Going Grey, Too

photo of charlize theron pictures
Guys! Look at Charlize Theron! See that hair? That haircut? The color? Charlize and I could be head-twins. Or at least, hair-twins; Charlize Theron’s got way more on me in the face department, but my hair was that short not too long ago, and I also have the salt and pepper look going on (yes, at twenty-nine). My hair, however, is slightly more dishwater brown than almost-black, but it’s like wow. Charlize-girl and I are even going grey in the same places.

You already saw what Charlize looked like as not-a-blonde back in November, and now you can see that she doesn’t give a crap about those who don’t like it—she looks great and she’s rocking the shit out of it.

What do you guys think about Charlize bold head statement?

Love It or Leave It: Charlize Theron is Not a Natural Blonde

photo of charlize theron pictures photos dark hair pic
You know, one time I was at a hair salon, complaining about my natural dishwater-brown hair (that’s positively lined with white-silver grey streaks), lamenting the fact that it’s neither bright, coppery brown nor bright, golden brown, and one of the stylists let me in on a little secret—see, most brunettes have this dishwater brown hair that I’ve been blessed with, and most blondes aren’t even close to being natural. Well, naturally, this knowledge completely rocked my world, and life was just never the same. The end.

Also, I came across this picture of Charlize Theron, hanging out with her mother for lunch (not pictured), and I instantly appreciated how beautiful this woman actually is, even without her “crowning glory,” or as some people refer to it, “hair.” It’s a rare, rare face that can pull off a f-cking military-grade buzz cut, and Charlize, luckily for her, can totally do it.

Charlize’s hair—love it or leave it?

Charlize Theron Is Super Mad at Kristen Stewart

A photo of Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron

From Radar:

Charlize Theron has blown a gasket over Kristen Stewart’s scandalous affair with married movie director Rupert Sanders, is exclusively reporting.

The South African-born beauty, who struck up a friendship with K-Stew during filming of Snow White and the Huntsman, is also close pals with Liberty Ross, the wife of Sanders!

And Kristin’s actions have left Charlize, 36, in a difficult position.

“Charlize is absolutely fuming with Kristen for having an affair with Rupert,” an insider revealed.

“She is very tight with Liberty, has often socialized with the family over dinner and cannot believe Kristin has done this.

“When they were filming Snow White and the Huntsman, Charlize felt like an older sister to Kristin, and they were always sharing advice.

“Charlize confided to her new pal about her adoption plans. She even asked Kristin if she wanted to be her baby Jackson’s godmother – that was how close they were.

“But Charlize had no idea what was going on between Rupert and Kristin and now feels completely betrayed by the whole incident.

“It’s certainly left Charlize between a rock and a hard place, because she feels great sympathy for Liberty and the kids and yet, she has a sisterly love for Kristin.

Ugh, this keeps getting worse and worse. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I guess the things we heard yesterday were definitely worse, what with Robert Pattinson leaving Kristen and Rupert Sander’s wife’s sad quote, but I wouldn’t have even thought to consider how awkward this must be for everyone involved in Snow White and the Huntsman. The movie did really well, and they were definitely looking at doing a sequel, but I doubt that will happen now. So that’s probably a couple hundred people out of a job, thanks to this affair. I’m not necessarily saying that Kristen and Rupert should have thought about the entire cast and crew of a possible film before fooling around, but man, they should have thought about something.

Love It or Leave It: Charlize Theron’s Head

A photo of Charlize Theron

For the past few weeks, Charlize Theron has been wandering around, wearing hats over her newly shaved head and carrying her adorable son. I didn’t show you pictures or anything because, you know, she kept wearing hats, and how am I supposed to show you pictures of Charlize Theron’s hats when I can keep telling you all about Octomom’s porn?

But today is different. Today, we have a picture of Charlize without the hat:

A photo of Charlize Theron

Charlize shaved her head for her role in Mad Max, and man, what is a great decision. Y’all know that I’m a big fan of short hair, but this is just phenomenal. I’m sure that Charlize’s crazy hotness helps things out quite a bit, but this makes me want to urge every woman to shave her head. Let them beautiful faces shine, ladies*!

*On a completely contradictory note, how the hell am I supposed to grow out short hair? It’s been about two months since I had a trim, and I’m this close to having a mullet.