2Lindsay Lohan Judged Charlie Sheen’s Mouth

From TMZ:

Who KNOWS where his mouth’s been??? At least that’s Lindsay Lohan’s explanation for shutting down a “Scary Movie 5″ kissing scene between her and Charlie Sheen — saying she refused to lock lips with him in the movie because of his spotty history.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she was supposed to kiss Charlie three times during their “Scary Movie” bedroom scene, but she ultimately refused to do it because of Charlie’s wild partying past.

It’s unclear what Lindsay was so paranoid about — but we’re told BOTH parties had to sign releases that they didn’t have cold sores.

Lindsay’s telling friends she warned producers ahead of time that she had issues with kissing Charlie — who’s had considerable dental work done in the last couple years — but they didn’t change the script until it was time to shoot the scene.

We’re told they used a body double for some of the kissing parts — with moderate success — but otherwise tried to write out the kissing entirely.

According to sources, Charlie was cool as a cucumber about the whole thing, and never voiced any concerns with the rewrite … or Lindsay’s objections.

Pots and kettles, glass houses, so on and so forth. This is so silly. Lindsay Lohan is going to judge someone else for their mouth, seriously? This is the girl whose teeth were crumbling from meth last year. And sure, Charlie likes to party with hookers, but it’s not like Lindsay’s never made any questionable choices either.

Also, I don’t want to feel sorry for Charlie Sheen. So thanks for ruining my morning, Lindsay. Ugh.

December 21, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

7Charlie Sheen Did Something Nice

I almost gave this story the headline “Charlie Sheen Is A Good Person,” but, well, you and I both know that’s no true. But he actually did do something nice, which counts for something? Maybe?

From TMZ:

Hey everyone, wanna hear a really nice Charlie Sheen story? Great … ’cause the actor just cut a massive $75,000 to help a little girl fight cancer.

TMZ has learned … Charlie was recently having a conversation with a Hermosa Beach police officer (don’t worry he was not being arrested) and learned about a cop whose 10-year-old daughter Jasmine had been diagnosed with Childhood Rhabdomyosarcoma.

FYI — CR is a nasty form of cancer that occurs in the muscle tissue and requires over a year of expensive medical treatments like chemo and radiation therapy.

We’re told … Charlie told the officer, “No parent should have to watch their kid go through that” … and vowed to help.

The next day Charlie fired off a check for $75,000 to the Hermosa Beach Police Assoc. — which had started a fund in Jasmine’s honor.

And there’s more … Charlie’s stunt-double Eddie Braun also chipped in –and cut a check for an additional $25,000 … which is almost more impressive, since he doesn’t even make a fraction of what Charlie makes.

We’re told the family is extremely grateful for the donation and is hopeful his actions will inspire others to join the fight against CR.

There, isn’t that sweet? Doesn’t that make you feel nice? I thought it might. Sure, Charlie Sheen is a very violent drug addict, and he should probably be in jail and not out being a crackhead superhero, but he’s still capable of doing something good. Isn’t that inspiring? Kind of?  In a way?

December 11, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily

6Even Charlie Sheen Thinks Lindsay Lohan Sucks Now

Of course, Lindsay Lohan is a pretty thankless little bitch, but did you guys expect her to go this far? Wait, what? You can’t even imagine what Lindsay Lohan could have done to be called a thankless little bitch by her very biggest sympathizer? Well then OH BOY do I have some news for you.

Remember how Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan that $100k for tax relief purposes? Because, you know, Lindsay’s broke ass can’t pay for the roof she’s got over her head, let alone all those back taxes from mini film projects of years gone by. Well, he did, and she took it, but she apparently never even said thank you. Isn’t that just so, so nice?

Lindsay? Girl, if you’re reading this, Charlie has a message for you. It goes kind of like this:

“I’m still waiting for a text to say ‘thank you’. Anything, you know?”

Jesus wept.

December 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

4Charlie Sheen Gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000

You know what they say: give a crackhead a fish and you’ll feed her for a day, but teach a crackhead to fish and she’ll probably fall off the boat and then you’ll have to deal with a bunch of lawsuits. Ha ha, but seriously. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan aren’t two peas in a pod, but two jackasses in a crack den, so when they came together to work on Scary Movie 5, it makes sense that they would have gotten close.

Ok, now let’s review an old story: Lindsay Lohan never pays her taxes. When she does manage to get a job, she spends all the money on meth or purses or whatever. And even now, right in the middle of her big comeback, she can’t manage to pay her taxes. So she owes the IRS a good amount of money: around $234,000.

Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen is a crackhead with a heart of gold and an unfathomable amount of money. So, as you might have gathered from the headline, he just gave Lindsay $100,000. Apparently she told him all about her financial problems while they were on set, and he just wrote up a check and sent it to her management team. Charming, right?

So here’s what I want to know: is Lindsay going to be Charlie’s next goddess? Do you just give women you meet on movie sets that much money? When is the sex tape going to be released, do you think? Important questions!

November 25, 2012 at 3:00 pm by Emily

3Charlie Sheen Has An Ear Infection, Not A Cocaine Problem

I know, it seems strange, but it totally makes sense. I had a kidney infection last winter, and my mom called me and said “hey, I heard you were on heroin.” And if you think about it, I’m sure the last time you got the flu you heard some whispers about your problem with meth. This happens all the time, and it’s no different with famous people. How often do we suspect some celebrity has a major booze problem when really they’re just suffering from exhaustion?

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m taking back that nasty rumor I told you yesterday, the one about how Charlie Sheen is smoking crack and playing with hookers again. It’s definitely, definitely not true. And you might have heard an additional rumor that Charlie is in the hospital to deal with his issues with drugs. That’s also not true. Because he just has an ear infection.

I know, the warning signs that someone is smoking crack and the symptoms of an ear infection are very similar. And I know that the physical action of smoking crack can look a whole lot like dealing with the agony of a real bad ear infection. But I’m here to clear it up for you: no crack, no cocaine. Just ear infections.

November 2, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

1Charlie Sheen Is Back on Crack

From Radar:

Hard-partying Charlie Sheen is back to his old ways, snorting cocaine and smoking crack on a daily basis, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

An inside look at Charlie’s daily life from a close source who spent nearly every day with the Anger Management star reveals a lifestyle riddled with drugs, alcohol and high-end escorts.

“For at least the last eight months or so Charlie has been having a quarter to half an ounce of cocaine delivered to him every single day and was spending nearly $2,000 a day on drugs. Sometimes he’d even get two to three quarters of cocaine in one day,” the insider exclusively told RadarOnline.com. ”He snorts it, he smokes it, and then he watches porn. And when he’s not watching porn, he’s hired high-end girls to come over.”

According to the source, Charlie fancies one girl in particular and sometimes pays her a whopping $25,000 per night to be with him — and that’s not all.

“This one girl that Charlie really likes had insecurities about her vagina so she begged Charlie to get her a vaginal rejuvenation surgery to make it prettier,” the source said. ”And he did. He got her the surgery, and he also bought her a new car.”

Charlie keeps a close group of people around him when he’s partying, and the source says he favors cooking the cocaine to make crack so he can smoke it.

“When Charlie gets his coke he immediately cooks it with baking soda in his bathroom to make crack,” the source said. ”Then he smokes it out of a makeshift pipe that he made out of a Fiji water bottle! He’d get so high he was just absolutely out of his mind, mumbling incoherently and tweaking. Then he would just space out, not talk to anyone, and watch porn.”

The source says Charlie also throws around money like it grows on trees, just because he can.

“Sometimes he’d give his friends that party with him a grand or two just because he thought they were cool,” the insider revealed. ”And he always offered to share his drugs. He just wanted everyone to join in the party. There were always a bunch of young girls and random guys around.”

And so it begins. I don’t know if anything can ever compare to the infamous Charlie Sheen bender from 2010 to 2011, but we definitely haven’t heard the last word from Charlie and his crack pipe. I mean, he’s giving out vaginal rejuvenation surgeries. It’s going to get real.

November 1, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily