Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Cameron Diaz

So, Nicki Minaj Is An Actress Now?

nicki minaj cameron diaz

Not content to simply ruin the mediums of music and television, Nicki Minaj has apparently decided to expand her tour of terror to film and is reportedly in final negotiations for a role aside Cameron Diaz in the upcoming “revenge comedy” The Other Woman.

The Hollywood Reporter has the full scoop:

Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Kate Upton are on the roll call.

Nick Cassavetes is directing the comedy, which centers on a woman (Diaz) who finds out that she is “the other woman” in an affair. She teams up with the wife (Mann) to get revenge on the cheating cad of a husband, being played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.

Minaj will play Diaz’s opinionated assistant — a woman on her third marriage — at a law firm.

The singer currently appears on American Idol as one of the judges and has voiced a character in Fox’s Ice Age: Continental Drift.

Julie Yorn is producing the project, which was written by Melissa Stack and will shoot in late spring/early summer in New York.

LOL, I love that Nicki Minaj’s first role would be of an “opinionated” woman. Really stretch her abilities there, guys. The only thing that could make a Cameron Diaz movie worse is Nicki Minaj – and I’m saying that as someone who doesn’t really even mind Cameron Diaz. This is just a big no all around.

The Editor Of Esquire Is A Douche

Alex Bilmes esquire panel

Esquire’s UK editor, Alex Bilmes, made comments so douchey I thought I was reading The Onion for a second. Nope.

At a panel discussion on feminism (!), Mr. Bilmes almost went out of his way to make the most anti-feminist statements ever.

As reported in Gawker, Alex Bilmes said this:

The women that we feature in the magazine are ornamental. That is how we see them. I could lie to you and say [we're] interested in their brains as well, but on the whole, we’re not. They’re there to be beautiful objects. They’re objectified.

There are certain times when we just want to look at them cause they’re sexy. One of the things men like is picture of pretty girls. So we provide them with pictures of pretty girls. And those pretty girls, for that purpose, they are ornamental. We also provide them with pictures of cool cars, or whatever. It’s a thing that you might want to look at.

Wait, wait, this is my favorite part:

We’re at least, or possibly more, ethnically diverse [than other magazines]. More shape-diverse. We also have older women. Not really old, but in their 40s… Cameron Diaz was on the cover three issues ago. She’s in her 40s.

More “shape-diverse”? I’m guessing that means women of all sizes 0 – 4 because I haven’t ever seen Precious on their cover.

It would be really awesome if actresses now refused to pose for the UK edition of Esquire but we all know that won’t happen.

Speaking of super duper old actresses, here are the photos from Ms. Diaz’s Esquire spread. They make me feel a little bit sad inside.

Cameron Diaz Wants to Get GOOP’d by Gwyneth Paltrow

Hi, everyone! ‘Tis I, Jenn, your faithful new managing editor – come February 1, anyway. I trust we’ll all find a way to grieve together as Sarah and Emily move on to greener pastures, then we’ll begin our own love affair and embark upon a new phase in our lives at one another’s sides. Or, you know, you could hate my guts and tell me so in the comments every day, forcing me to cry myself to sleep. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, though, yeah? Now, time to get down to business.

Cameron Diaz has a buck wild spirit that won’t quit, and that’s why I love her. I use “love” very, very loosely, because I actually have no feelings for her either way – she seems innocuous enough, despite her rather bizarre love of being objectified and a mind-boggling lack of basic feminist understanding. She’s living large and in charge, dates around, doesn’t want to get married and is pleased as punch to be getting older (or so she says) and for that reason, it seems like our girl Cam is killin’ it. Well, not so, my friends. Turns out, being a free-wheelin’ female Lothario has its drawbacks and when a case of mid-life malaise hits, there’s only one person who can save you – and unfortunately this doctor’s more annoying than the patient: Gwyneth Paltrow.

According to The Sun:

“Gwyneth’s sorted out everything from finances to hooking her up with her trainer. She has also forced her to swear off sex for a year, saying men distract her focus.”

I mean, if anything’s worse than working out and not having sex with your boo, it has to be taking life advice from Gwyneth Paltrow, who thinks liquified grass counts as a meal and may or may not be engaging in a bit of the ole rumpy pumpy with Jay-Z (as if he would ever cheat on the Queen Bey!). She’s insufferable. Not to mention, hello, who in the hell wants life advice from anyone, let alone the female Jack Skellington? The second she tried to make me trade in chocolate cake for Buddhist meditation and seaweed enemas, I’d be out the door. Or I’d punch her, then be out the door.

Here’s a hint, Cameron: Gwyneth Paltrow can’t help you. You know what can? Not being friends with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Stars Without Makeup: Cameron Diaz is Amazing This Time

photo of cameron diaz no makeup pictures
It almost destroys me to compliment Cameron Diaz, because generally, Cameron Diaz can do no right in my eyes, but this is … OK, this is hard. This is going to hurt, and this is going to cause some lasting side-effects, but it’s got to be said anyway: Cameron Diaz looks great in this picture. I’m talking great as in “pretty wonderful” and “simply lovely,” and honestly, if you know the history between Cammy and I, you’d know how much it pains me to take something she’s done, or worn, or said … well, seriously.

This is what Cameron looked like whilst hailing a taxi in Manhattan, and if you think the face is alright (because it really, really is), then you’re probably going to love the boots. I love the boots. I’m not much of an ankle bootie kind of girl, because I’m short and don’t have baseball bat-shaped legs, but these boots are still pretty hot. They’re from Rag & Bone and a pair will run you somewhere around $550 bones, an investment not all that terrible when you consider other designer shoe prices. In fact, Rag & Bone’s stuff is generally awesome, and the very next thing from Rag & Bone that I probably should have in my closet is this:

photo of rag & bone bailey jacket pictures
Yeah, the leather sleeves are reminiscent of something you might find Kim Kardashian’s closet (or, you know, Kanye’s closet, maybe next to his skirt), but if you couple that with the floral pattern and make it all a blazer? I think we might be on to something, guys. The downside? At $655 bucks, this hot little jacket will cost you more than the shoes, and I just don’t know that I’d pay that much for something that might make me feel like Kim Kardashian on my worst days.

Quotables: Don’t Worry, Cameron Diaz is More of an A-Hole Than Ever

photo of cameron diaz pictures

I think every woman does want to be objectified. There’s a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy.

Cameron Diaz on the deepest desire of a woman’s heart, being objectified and subsequently not taken seriously because duh, women are totally the inferior sex and we’re just lucky that men haven’t made us redundant except for sex as it is. Lucky, lucky bitches we are, guys.

See, now, it’s not very often that I have to go and find a reason to dislike a particular celebrity, especially Cameron Diaz, because I’ve always, always thought her to be reasonably unintelligent and, as a result, gag-inducing anytime she ever opens her mouth, but this time I also find her pretty contradictory and hypocritical, as Cameron Diaz has always played the “I don’t want to get married and settle down because FEMINISM and FEMINIST TENDENCIES,” which is fine, if she were actually believable and not sad when she attempted to make these “bold” statements. However? Her saying that it’s OK to be objectified, and that every woman totally hopes and lives to be objectified someday only reinforces the fact that I think Cameron Diaz is a sad, confused woman who should probably gather her thoughts a little bit further before ever opening her mouth. Like, people should probably send her interview questions a year in advance so she can keep track of previous responses. Oh, and live interviews? F-ck, never again.

Cameron Diaz Hit on Robert Pattinson, But He Wasn’t Having It

photo of cameron diaz and robert pattinson pictures
From Us Weekly:

The single actress, 40, ferociously flirted with Robert Pattinson — who reconciled in early September with Kristen Stewart — at the Gucci-sponsored L.A. County Museum of Art’s Art + Film Gala on Oct. 27.

“She was pretty obvious,” says one of three witnesses who watched Diaz come on to the Twilight star, 26. “Cam was seated next to Rob at dinner. She was touching his arm, doing her big Cameron laugh at everything he said and trying really hard. He was polite, but not having it.” Clearly he only has eyes for Stewart.

For whatever reason, this story makes me really happy. I don’t even know that I believe it all that much (who am I kidding; I totally believe it), but something about Robert Pattinson snubbing Cameron Diaz for a lady who cheated on him and who he had the fortitude to forgive and move on because of whole, true love, makes me happy. It makes me believe in fairytale love, and I don’t mean the kind of fairytale where Snow White sleeps with a buck-toothed movie director—I mean the kind where, at the end of the day, all that matters is love.


Here’s A Video of Gwyneth Paltrow Rapping with Cameron Diaz

Oh my gosh. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t even know what to say, this is that horrifying. I don’t mean that it’s not sort of amusing, because it is, a little, and if it wasn’t the monstrosity we know as Gwyneth Paltrow, it might even be funny. I just mean that it’s so … embarrassing. I watched it a few times as I tried to figure out my feelings, and I just feel so unbelievably embarrassed right now.

And maybe it’s just my intense feelings for Gwyneth, but does anyone else think that she did this video and then sent it to Beyonce with a letter that said “please pass this along to your husband so we can begin work on our record post-haste”? Because Gwyneth thinks she and Jay-Z are going to do the next Watch the Throne together. Because she’s that out of touch*.

But Cameron Diaz is pretty cute, right?

*I know she’s not that out of touch. I know she probably did this to have fun with her friends. I know it’s a joke. But guys. It’s Gwyneth Paltrow. Loosen up.