You guys! I’d totally forgotten about this, but I had a subscription to Teen People when I was in high school. I only kept one issue. Just one. But! It’s the 1st Annual Celebrity Style Awards issue! That means we can point and gawk at some of the dumb crap our favorite stars were wearing in the late 90s.
Here’s a look at the November 1998 issue:
I included a profile of “new talent” Paul Walker (check the gallery!), who will be appearing in upcoming movies like Pleasantville, Varsity Blues, and Brokedown Palace.
I especially recommend the photo spread titled “Hair Watch,” which focuses on bleached spiky 90s hair, as sported by the likes of Mark McGrath, David Boreanaz, and Seth Green. However, it’s the ladies—Sarah Jessica Parker and Jamie Pressly among them—who take the cake for dumbest 90s ‘dos.
I also included a scan of “Star Tracks” because A) I had completely forgotten about Jonny Lang, and B) how the hell does Lukas Haas know Vincent Gallo? I am not too sure Vincent Gallo belongs in a teen magazine.
Under “Star Woes: Their Most Embarrassing Moments,” Kirsten Dunst says:
I’m really proud of going on Jeopardy! and winning $10,000 for charity. But I was so embarrassed because I couldn’t get my buzzer to work right. Now people [who were watching the broadcast must] think that I’m the biggest ditz. I only answered like five questions.
I finally watched Kirsten’s heinous Jeopardy performance on YouTube sometime last year, and she’s right: I thought she was the biggest ditz.
From the article “Getting ‘N Sync”:
Five good-looking guys from Florida form a singing group, make it big overseas and then bring their catchy pop songs back home, where they instantly captivate the American teen market.
Hmmmm. Does this tune sound a little familiar? Yes and no. It’s true that, on the surface, ‘N Sync’s story certainly reads like Backstreet Boys: The Sequel. They have the same manager (Johnny Wright, also of New Kids on the Block fame), the same home base (Orlando) and the same secret weapon (a sexy blond—the baby of the band—guaranteed to melt the female masses). But spend a little time with the tight-knit quintet—James Lance Bass, 19; Joey Fatone Jr., 21; Chris Kirkpatrick, 26; Joshua “JC” Chasez, 22; and Justin Timberlake (the noted blond), 17—and you’ll find that they’re as different from Backstreet as Third Eye Blind is from Matchbox20.
Elsewhere, 98 Degrees is noted, but no mention of Nick Lachey anywhere. Another article, “Felicity Fever,” promises a too-in-depth look at “the set of the most talked-about new TV series.”
There is a centerfold of a movie poster for Meet Joe Black. I didn’t scan it, but I did scan the “Got Milk” ad starring Joshua Jackson.
Of course there are the 1st Annual Celebrity Style Awards: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Claire Danes, Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey, Cameron Diaz, and Jennifer Aniston all get props, along with Jakob Dylan (remember him?!) and Aaliyah (sigh). I didn’t scan in the other two dudes because they are boring, but both Leonardo DiCaprio and Will Smith received accolades.
Also: holy God, Melissa Joan Hart can barely dress herself. Reese Witherspoon, however, always dressed with the trends and still managed to look cute.
Also: UGH. I really thought this was a fun idea—until I was actually scanning everything in, that is. I encountered some truly gnarly technical difficulties with the Kodak ESP 9250, so I hope you appreciate what I do for you.
January 10, 2012 at 11:30 am by Jenn
So, wow. I realize that I give Cameron Diaz a lot of shit (for her face), but there’s no denying that this chick is in shape, huh? Jeez Louise. She’s naturally slender and toned without looking emaciated or muscle-bound, and she’s got enough of a backside to keep some people interested. She’s also thirty-nine years old, and that gives me hope that there are women out there who are approaching forty who don’t feel the need to get every single tiny inch of extra skin or – gasp! – “fat” trimmed and tucked and burned off their bodies with scalpels and soldering irons.
Anyway, the hair. This, however, I can’t say I’m a fan of. I think Diaz looks tons better when she’s got something long and not-so-blonde on her melon to whip around, and I don’t think the cut (or the color) flatters what she’s got going on up there. Now, I don’t know if this is a desperate bid to get Justin Timberlake or A-Rod back, but if it is, girlfriend better try some new tactics. I think the last thing she wants to do is bring attention to her mug, and this cut is doing nothing but that.
What do you guys think – Love it? Leave it?
January 4, 2012 at 4:30 am by Sarah
Ah, how often we forget that celebrities are actually “real” people, much like we are, and how grafitying it can be to see them doing normal things like going to the gym, buying coffee, and wearing hats to try and disguise just how normal they are.
Here’re the 5 Best Celebrities Without Makeup of 2011:
#4 – Miranda Kerr
This one is kind of a given, because if you’re a Victoria’s Secret supermodel, you’re contractually obligated to look like this. OF COURSE she’s going to show up on the “good” side of this list somewhere.
#3 – Khloe Kardashian
Some of you probably think that it’s a joke, or a mistake, that Khloe ended up on this side of the post, but compared to her older drama queen sisters, Khloe-sans-makeup is refreshing enough to make you forget that she doesn’t look all that great in comparison to what she looks like with makeup. So in the paradox world of the Kardashians, that makes her look AMAZING in the real world.
#2 – Kirstie Alley
Here’s another one that might have you scratching at your head, but Kirstie here is included on the ‘Best’ list because she looks her AGE. And she goes out in public not really giving a f-ck about what people think about her face, and that’s probably more attractive than most of the plasticky people we talk about overall.
Jump in for the worst!
December 28, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Did you guys know that it’s Cameron Diaz‘s 39th birthday today? ‘Cause it is! Remember when she dated Matt Dillon for, like, the longest time? Yeah, I don’t get what every girl growing up in the eighties and nineties saw in him either. But then she dated Justin Timberlake, and I doubt there’s a man or woman in the world who’d say that Justin wasn’t a good choice, both personally and professionally. She’s dating A-Rod now, and that’s a head-scratcher to me, but hey. I know this whole post could have been about the cinematic accolades she’s received, or about the versatility she exhibits as an actress, but the only thing I’m really interested in about Cameron Diaz is who she happens to be boning at the moment, friends.
Happy Birthday, Cammy!
August 31, 2011 at 9:30 am by Sarah
And “sans fards” is a fancy-pants French saying for “without makeup,” not “without farts” like some of you might think it means. And WHO SAYS you can’t get some good worldliness from visiting celebrity gossip rags online? Keep hanging out with us here and you’ll eventually be culture vultures.
Anyway, this is Cameron Diaz arriving at LAX earlier this week. I know a lot of you would probably expect me to rip her appearance just based on the fact that she’s Cameron Diaz, and not one of my favorite people, but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to be objective about this, like I’m supposed to. And in all honesty? She looks OK. Alright – she looks more than OK. She looks pretty freaking good in comparison to a lot of women who’d venture out in public without a full face of makeup. Me, I’m not a big fan of schlepping forty layers of shellack on my face just to go to the damned supermarket, but then, I’m not a career celebrity who’s sole job is to impress my fans with my shining, eerily-perfect appearance. I work in my PAJAMAS and UNBRUSHED HAIR most of the time, ffs. I’m apparently not out to impress anyone, myself included.
On the whole? I’d have to say that Cameron’s almost a ten. Almost.
August 5, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Sarah
Last night, in the most riveting piece of television in the history of colonoscopies, Jon Stewart invited Cameron Diaz to extricate his stitches one at a time. And then she totally did. It is too disgusting to miss.
You may remember how, earlier this month, Jon Stewart cut his wrist on The Daily Show—he was making margaritas during a fake press conference when a glass shattered—and as he stood there bleeding, he remarked that he might actually need stitches. No kidding, man.
Anyway. Cameron Diaz was on the program to promote her new movie Bad Teacher which, unless Ain’t It Cool News finds a way to convince me otherwise, I will probably never watch.
You know what I would watch, though? I’d watch a documentary reality program where Cameron Diaz makes house-calls in the countryside, lancing boils and yanking rotten teeth. She puts on her reading glasses, and the film crew gets really quiet as Cameron sterilizes the pointy tweezers, and then she leers maniacally at her patient and shrieks “Ready when you are!” and it’s just terrifying. God, this is actually a great idea for a TV show; it sounds just like something you’d find on BBC America.