Today's Evil Beet Gossip

No Way: Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill To Become Broadway Musical

Alanis Morissette gave us one of the best break-up songs of all time with “You Oughta Know” and now we can enjoy it on the big stage — Broadway. Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill album is going to become a Broadway musical. (So pay your nanny, Alanis. You can afford it.) From Daily News:

The 39-year-old musician’s repertoire will form the scaffolding of the play, which is scheduled to open in 2014.

“I look forward to taking the heart of ‘Jagged Little Pill’ and expanding its story, fleshing it out into deeper layers of emotionality, specificity, humanity, power, physicality, spirit, and fabulism,” Morissette said in a press release.

The singer will collaborate with Vivek J. Tiwary and Tom Kitt for the show.

“‘Jagged Little Pill’ was a triumph of self-expression — an album that was impossible to ignore with its massive sound and raw honesty,” Tiwary said in a statement. “I’m proud to be working with Alanis to bring that same emotional power and bravery onto a Broadway stage.”

So yeah, this is really happening. Would you see it? Let me rephrase, would you see if it you were in NYC and had time and tickets were reasonable? What if they were free?

I’m guessing Dave Coulier won’t. Fuck that guy!

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Orlando Bloom And Condola Rashad To Star In First Interracial Broadway Production Of Romeo And Juliet

condola rashad orlando bloom romeo juliet

Orlando Bloom (still exists!!!) and Condola Rashad are set to star in Broadway’s first ever interracial production of Romeo and Juliet. Weren’t Romeo and Juliet teenagers? I guess they’re changing that up too.

What is this poster? Is this not the worst and cheesiest bit of Photoshop you’ve ever seen?

Here’s some info about the play, directly from Playbill:

Orlando Bloom (“The Lord of the Rings”) and Tony Award nominee Condola Rashad (Stick Fly, The Trip to Bountiful) will be the star-crossed lovers of a new Broadway revival of Romeo and Juliet, to be staged by Tony Award nominee David Leveaux this August at the Richard Rodgers Theatre.

The revival will begin previews Aug. 24 towards a Sept. 19 opening.

According to producers, “In this new production, the members of the Montague household will be white, and the blood relatives of the Capulet family will be black. While race defines the family lineages, the original cause of the ‘ancient quarrel’, passed down by successive generations to their young, has been lost to time. Shakespeare’s dramatization of the original poem sets the two young lovers in a context of prejudice, authoritarian parents, and a never ending cycle of ‘revenge.’ Against this background, the strength of their love changes the world.”Producers have also announced that 100 tickets per performance will be set aside at $20 for purchase by students and educators.

Tickets for Audience Rewards members go on sale beginning April 1 at noon. They will go on sale to the general public on April 8 via

Let’s hope this one goes over better than Breakfast At Tiffany’s on Broadway.

Seriously though, that poster. Come on.

Everyone Hates Breakfast At Tiffany’s On Broadway

emilia clarke

Breakfast At Tiffany’s, the Truman Capote novella, was famously adapted to film starring Audrey Hepburn and recently for Broadway, starring Emilia Clarke. Unfortunately, the reviews suggest they should have stopped at the movie. Let’s take a look.


Emilia Clarke is obviously talented, but she is so miscast as Holly Golightly that it’s kind of shocking.

Chicago Tribune:

There’s no palpable connection between [lead characters] Fred and Holly…[Clarke] has the air of an impostor, which is good (and her best quality in this role)…But this is not a nuanced performance that reveals personal dislocation or pain, or some emptiness inside, or any kind of journey.

The Hollywood Reporter:

Clarke doesn’t demonstrate the maturity to convey Holly’s unique dichotomy of breezy insouciance and jaded calculation…[her] delivery mostly comes off as effortful over-enunciation…Far more than the casting or writing, however, the insurmountable problem is Mathias’ cloddish direction. One scene bumps into the next with painfully awkward transitions…


Emilia Clarke…can’t pull it off. She’s likable, she sings her one song (not “Moon River”) well, and she looks lovely in Colleen Atwood’s costumes. But when a girl named Golightly has to work at effervescence, something’s wrong—and it’s wrong throughout the production…Breakfast at Tiffany’s gets dreary pretty fast.

Entertainment Weekly:

Richard Greenberg’s new stage adaptation of Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a meandering misfire lacking the charm and oomph of either Capote’s 1958 novella or the 1961 movie…[Clark] she comes off as shrill rather than insouciant…Greenberg’s entire first act is a slog, bogged down with dreary exposition and the introduction of far too many quirky but uninteresting characters.


All of the reviews agree on one thing: the cat is fantastic. Yeah, that’s a real-life motherf-cking cat, and it steals the whole motherf-cking show.

James Franco Going To Broadway

james franco

James Franco is going to be in his first Broadway show. He’s going to play George in Of Mice And Men. Uh. Really? I’m surprised. I can see him more in a Mamet kind of thing. Or something more modern. And George isn’t even the standout role in that one. It’s all about Lennie. (“Tell me about the rabbits, George.”) Oh damn, my theater nerd is creeping out.

It’s all in the very early stages and no premiere date is set. According to they don’t even know who the costars will be yet.

There’s some good stuff happening in theater for TV and film celebs. Jane Lynch is going to play Miss Hannigan in Annie on Broadway, Mean Girls is becoming a Broadway musical, Emilia Clarke is naked for two seconds in a Broadway show to the delight of cultured theater perverts, and Tom Hanks is going to be in his first ever Broadway show in the spring. So, fun times if you’re into that. And have enough money and/or strings to pull to get a seat.

Details Of The Mean Girls Musical

mean girls jingle bell rock lindsay lohan

Mean Girls, the insanely quotable Tina Fey Film, is being made into a Broadway musical. It’s in the very early stages but Vulture spoke to Ms. Fey’s husband, Jeff Richmond (who is writing the music), and provided some details:

It’s all just laid out structure-wise right now. That’s how early we are. Because you have to take a three-act structure and turn it into a two-act structure and start thinking about it like that, and we’re working! [...] I think there will be a fair amount of songs to move the action forward, but because Tina’s dialogue in the movie is so funny, there will be a lot of room in there for that, for sure. We’re going to keep those jokes in there. ‘Fetch’ will be a song, for sure, absolutely. And it will probably reprise itself at some point, just so you know. Gretchen Wieners will have a song. That’s all I can say. But it is fun to think about who is going to get a song — like, Damian will have a couple of songs.

I can see the track listing now!

1. 4 For You Glen Coco!

2. We Must Stab Caesar (Gretchen’s Revenge)

3. All Carb Diet (Regina’s Song)

4. On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

5. Why Are You White? (Africa!)

My favorite Mean Girls line is probably, “Danny DeVito, I love your work!” What’s yours?

Jane Lynch To Make Broadway Debut

jane lynch emmys beautiful

Jane Lynch of Glee (but more importantly, some awesome Christopher Guest movies) is making her Broadway debut as the villainous Miss Hannigan from Annie. I love Ms. Lynch and I love the idea of her as Miss Hannigan, but Carol Burnett owns that role in my mind. She’ll probably kick ass at it, though. Lynch will play a very limited run, from May 16th to July 14th. In the meantime, for all your borderline evil orphanage owner needs, check out Burnett.

Sarah Jessica Parker famously made her Broadway debut as Annie in 1979. They missed the chance to go super weird with this and recast Parker as Annie.

On her new role, Lynch told The Baltimore Sun,

Some may say I know a thing or two about playing intimidating authority figures. So I am excited and honored to be making my Broadway debut with the wonderful Annie company at the Palace Theatre and joining the pantheon of women who have taken on the great and irresistible role of wicked Miss Hannigan.

Just once I wish a celeb would end of their standard polite informational soundbites with, “Because I’m f-cking awesome.” I mean, aside from Kanye West.