Poor, poor LeAnn Rimes. All she does is get bullied and shit upon and no one will leave her alone. Well, guess what! She’s not having it anymore. No sir, she won’t apologise and feel bad for breaking up a family and being a total prick about it. No more! The phoenix will rise from the ashes once more!
Did you feel a need to explain yourself?
You’ve done a lot of frank US TV interviews recently… Yes. People have been judging me, so I felt a need to explain and apologise, which I’ve done many times. Now I no longer feel that need. I’m happy and happily married and have a wonderful family. I’m living life as best I can – but I’m not exempt from failure and making bad choices.
You’ve been written about extensively in the US tabloids for three years since you got together with your husband. Has the coverage worn you down?
It has been an ongoing story for them. At least I sell magazines for them – I guess that’s the positive – but it’s involved some very wrong information. Sometimes I comment on it, sometimes I don’t. They’re going to write what they want to write anyway. I just read I bathe in Evian water – some of the stories are so insane. I try to let it roll off my back but it’s gone on for a long time. I have a talent, I can sing. I don’t earn my money from trying to hurt people or get in the tabloids.
Girl, we know you don’t bathe in Evian because that shit is expensive and you’re broke enough to need to sue your dentist over those chicklet teeth of yours. Second of all, you know you love every second of the press you get for Eddie and Brandi – otherwise, your ass would’ve been out of the news years ago and stayed there for good, because God knows that voice (which was average at best to begin with) is not what it once was. You need to sit down.
March 5, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
Brandi Glanville can’t seem to keep her trap shut about all things LeAnn Rimes/Eddie Cibrian, so much so that she actually pulled a Blu Cantrell and got her vagina re-done (WHY) on Eddie’s dime and then wrote a book about all the f-ckery surrounding that relationship to make more bank. Gotta give homegirl her Shrewd Businesswoman patch on that one.
In any case, Brandi’s book is a whole hot mess of unnecessary nonsense and never should have been released. It was released, though, and even better than that, it may now be made into a script and acted out by real, live actors. Brandi broke the news on Twitter on Monday:
Omg just had a talk about turning my book in2 a movie! Maybe we should pitch it to Lifetime ;) An unromantic comedy! #pinchme
— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) February 26, 2013
Lifetime is probably the only network desperate enough to buy this crap, but also, you have to admit that Lifetime makes those amazing Made-For-TV movies that are so bad, they circle back ’round to being really good again. I mean, I grew up in the In The Best Interest of the Children days and it was my jam – it’s only got better since then. Come on – Sexting in Suburbia? Instant classic. Mom at 16 was a classic, as well.
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s get this movie made, stat.
February 27, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
It’s heeeere – your first LeAnn Rimes/Brandi Glanville/Eddie Cibrian post on my watch. Hopefully it’ll be your last, as well, but no promises. All I can do is try my best, people. Anyway, we all know the story: Eddie cheated on Brandi during their marriage with that anorexic harlot LeAnn (who was also cheating on her now ex-husband, as well) and it caused a whole hell of a lot of trouble and spawned far too many stories in the press that no one really cared about. But wait, there’s more! Apparently, LeAnn didn’t give a shit about tearing Brandi’s family apart (uh, duh?)!
From a new interview with Glamour:
“When I’m home alone on a holiday and LeAnn is tweeting pictures with my children, it breaks my heart,” she said. “One way I hear from LeAnn is she’ll text me – hurtful things like, ‘I can’t wait to make your kids lunches and go to soccer…’
“Marriages break up all the time. People have affairs. Happens every day. It matters how you handle yourself after and if you’re actually remorseful. I’ve never found LeAnn to be remorseful. I found her to be like, ‘Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, I got your family’.”
Sure, LeAnn sounds like a total bitch, but unfortunately Brandi is just coming off as desperate and pitiful, using this years-old affair to keep herself at all relevant and in the public eye. Of course LeAnn has no remorse! If she did, she wouldn’t have cheated on her own husband with another married man! I don’t know why Brandi is acting like she wants the D so bad anyway, since Eddie apparently couldn’t even get it up half the time.
“My heartache probably lasted a lot longer than it should have, because in the old days, you broke up with someone, you never saw them again,” she said. “You’re not seeing pictures of how in love they are. I started to drink too much. I would cry all day.”
Well, you’re not exactly helping yourself by talking about them to every magazine, paper and stray dog that will listen. The stuff this woman will share with the public in order to generate a story is a hot mess. Girl, you’re in the danger zone. I never thought I’d say this, but take a note from LeAnn. Go get yourself some bikinis to live in – even in the winter – and pretend you had no idea there were paparazzi around to snap your picture.
February 6, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Eddie had started taking Propecia, like many men, because he was concerned about hair loss. He had fantastic hair, but who was I to sideline his vanity? … This particular drug [Propecia] had nasty side effects – including ones that happened in the bedroom. I knew he was concerned about his hairline, but momma needed something h**d. I was not down for a limp d**k and gave him an ultimatum: It was the Propecia or me! Eddie never took well to being cornered or criticized. So it was no surprise when he immediately shot back that my lady business wasn’t what it used to be.
Of course, I don’t mean to laugh, because laughing at a man’s lack of performance in the bedroom just isn’t all that nice, but this is Eddie Cibrian that we’re talking about here, and he is quite a piece of crap, if you ask me.
… But then, you have to wonder—did Eddie step out on Brandi because of her creepy “Momma needs something hard” references? Because that’s just f-cking creepy. … Creepy, in case you didn’t get it the first go-round—and I’m talking cringing creepiness, here, guys. And mean. That’s pretty mean, too. And now, I’m not saying that Brandi emotionally abusing Eddie is a good excuse to be sleeping around on your wife, but it sure isn’t the worst one I’ve ever heard, either.
Who knows—maybe LeAnn gave Eddie some good (sexual) healing that Brandi just … well, didn’t.
January 31, 2013 at 10:30 am by Sarah
In an excerpt from her new book, Drinking & Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders, our favorite reality show star, Brandi Glanvillle, talked subjects like “rejuvenating” her vagina, how Eddie waffled between her and LeAnn from the early beginnings of his affair, and what the end result of all the cheating was.
About her vagina, Brandi said:
I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor's office] Eddie’s credit card number. This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000. A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina.
And prior to purging Eddie from her ladyparts, she discussed what it was like finding out that her husband had an affair with the one, the only—LeAnn Rimes:
I’m not entirely sure how I ended up on the floor of my closet sobbing … a teary-eyed Eddie found me lying there. Minutes later, and without saying so much as a word, he started kissing me all over … and we started having sex right there. He swore up and down my body that it wasn’t true … that it was completely innocent. In that moment, it was easier to believe him, because I just couldn’t stand the thought of being without him.
Later in the book, it was revealed how Eddie and LeAnn’s behavior immediately changed after coming clean about the affair, and Brandi also addressed a cake frosting incident that happened at one of the new couple’s first public appearances together:
LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top (she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he wanted lick it off her. This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? He hadn’t realized I was there, either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.
Last, Brandi talked about how the affair had sent her into a “tail-spin” that ultimately resulted in a DUI arrest:
[Eddie] promised he would never marry LeAnn, but that was just one of the countless lies he told me. … I was a jobless, homeless, mother of two living out of her $1,200-a-month SUV and couch-surfing from one hospitable friend to the next. After my divorce — even with the help of Lexapro — I fell into a bit of a tailspin [and an eventual DUI arrest]. … White wine became my constant shoulder to lean on.
Gosh, guys. The more I hear about Brandi Glanville and her side of the story, the more I pity her. I mean, it’s crazy. I pity her for more reasons than I pity LeAnn Rimes, and though I pity LeAnn Rimes for an entirely different array of causes, it’s still quite a bit. What a f-cking hot mess of a situation, you know? I love it so, so much.
January 30, 2013 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Oh LeAnn Rimes. It’s probably so, so hard to be you. Brandi Glanville always hovering about and making sure you’re not accidentally feeding her children laxatives, being bullied because you stole a lady’s husband … I can’t even imagine the trials and tribulations you must have to endure on a daily basis for being a completely innocent, delicate little flower of a woman.
Don’t worry, though, girl. One day, you’ll have it all: you’ll have a man who loves you and respects you for you and not your bank account, a few little rugrats of your own to whom you can mistakenly feed Ex-Lax, and the self-respect that goes along with being an upstanding, decisive woman who doesn’t walk all over people and doesn’t let people walk all over her, either. It’ll be there one day, girl, so just keep on keeping on and clutching at your creepy friend, Lizzy. Not because, you know, the Lizzy thing’s going to make any difference, but because it’s mildly entertaining in a scary sort of way. That’s all.