10Blind Item: Casper Smart Isn’t Such A Great Boyfriend

From Blind Gossip:

This high-profile female celebrity bought her boyfriend a beautiful new automobile this holiday season. She even told him that there were no strings attached so that he could feel more manly about it.

He is so appreciative of her thoughtful gift that the first thing he did was to thank her with a few special hours in the bedroom.

The second thing he did was to start calling dealerships and researching the car online to get an idea of its value. That way, when they break up with next year, he can sell it for cash.

He has told friends that he already knows the relationship will likely not survive the upcoming scandal of her discovering how much he cheats on her. But will she be surprised when she finds out the gender of those with whom he is cheating?

There are a few other couples that this blind item could be about – Katy Perry and John Mayer, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are a few examples – but I’m going to stick with Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart. For one, I don’t think any of these other dudes would go through the trouble of checking out car prices. They all make way too much money for that, I imagine, but Casper is a backup dancer. He could definitely use the money more than the other guys.

For two, Jennifer has a history of buying Casper fancy gifts. She even bought him a truck for his last birthday, which sets up a nice tradition.

And finally, there’s that clue about the cheating, particularly the part about cheating with men. I think we can all fondly recall the photo of Casper in the shiny gold shorts that accompanied the story about his rumored sexuality, and I would be the least surprised if it was all true.

In closing, Casper Smart is a shady character who is using Jennifer Lopez and her loving nature to gain fame and money. And that’s sad, but not at all surprising.

Any other guesses?

December 28, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

4Blind Item: The Kardashians Are About to Fall Apart

From Blind Gossip:

This celebrity family is going through some troubles, with lots of rumors floating around about who is doing what, and who is siding with whom.

Well, here is the real story.

This argument isn’t about money or fame. It’s about the child/ren.

The father recognized from the beginning that he doesn’t have much control over the child/ren from his wife’s previous marriage, so he adopted a fairly laissez-faire policy when it came to their upbringing. He was supportive, but not overly controlling or a strict disciplinarian.

He really wants his kids to be happy. Well, the younger child/ren told him that they would be happiest if they could do what the older child/ren was doing. No surprise there. Given that their older sibling/s was receiving money, gifts, fame and parental attention for their behavior, why would they yearn for anything else? So, the father let them do it.

The father now realizes that he made a mistake. He is not dumb or passive. He knows that he screwed up. But he also recognizes the pitfalls of fame that lie before him. He knows that swift, public action – talking about the issues, speaking negatively about his wife, making public statements about how unhappy he is about the situation, or suddenly pulling the younger child/ren out of their activities – will only exacerbate the problem. The wife is ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants, and he has no doubt that she will launch a PR war against him if he makes a false move.

So he is trying to deal with all of this very quietly and behind closed doors. He has attorneys, and they are keeping up a steady but careful campaign for him to get more control over the situation. Just know that he is a lot smarter and more disciplined than anyone is giving him credit for being.

He wants a different upbringing for the younger child/ren, and he is determined to get it. Will he only get that by breaking up the family and divorcing his wife? Yes. And he wants that done soon so that he can influence the child/ren before they are of legal age to decide for themselves/selves.

I think it’s fairly obvious that this blind item is about poor Bruce Jenner, don’t you? Everything fits well enough that I don’t even feel like I have to walk us through it. It’s just sad because honestly, I don’t think there’s much hope for Kendall and Kylie Jenner, the younger children in question, at this point. They’re 15 and 17 years old, and they’ve been on Keeping Up with the Kardashians since they were 10 and 12, so there’s really no way for them to have a different upbringing. They were brought up doing sketchy modeling jobs and making ridiculous amounts of money for “designing” nail polish. I think things are pretty much set by now.

Poor, poor Bruce.

December 27, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

35The Best Blind Item Ever: Taylor Swift’s Pregnancy

Oh my god. Oh my god. This is crazy. If this blind item is true, then it is crazy. If the word didn’t bother me in this context, I would call it positively juicy. It’s that good.

From Blind Gossip:

This popular young celebrity is pretty and personable and every marketer’s dream. Most marketers would flinch, though, if one of her darkest secrets was to come to light.

There was a time when she actually dated guys in whom she was genuinely interested. One of these guys was a celebrity. Like other Good Girls before her, she fell hard for him, and had a physical relationship with him. But he was just using her. She was crushed when she figured that out. Even worse, she was pregnant.

There was never a question about her having the baby. Both she and her team were absolutely panic-stricken at thought of America’s Good Girl bearing a child out of wedlock by America’s Biggest Jerk.

The baby was terminated, the couple broke up, and she went back to being America’s Good Girl. It’s one of the reasons her team has been so eager since then to have her beard for gay male celebrities since then. It’s much, much safer that way.

John Mayer knocked up Taylor Swift. Just let that one sink in for a moment. Just process it. Oh my god.

Everything fits. Taylor Swift could certainly be called America’s Good Girl, John Mayer, well, we all know how jerky he is. And the photo that Blind Gossip used for this item is some drawing of a girl with blonde hair and wings, and she very obviously looks like Taylor. And also, that bit about “the other Good Girls” before her? Jennifer Aniston, another lady who got tangled in John Mayer’s dirty web, starred in a movie called The Good Girl. BOOM.

Can you see this story being true? Because I kind of can.

December 11, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily

1Blind Items Revealed: The Return of the Cleft Chin Licker

From Blind Gossip:

Aaron Eckhart has an interesting way of picking up women. He likes to anonymously contact cleft-chinned women on a certain internet modeling site and tell them that he is interested in photographing them.

If they say “Yes!” the courtship-to-chin-licking has begun!

So Gwyneth Paltrow and Molly Sims just didn’t have the stuff to hold his attention. But if you are a tall, leggy blonde female with a cleft chin – and you post your pic on a popular modeling site – consider yourself an excellent candidate for a date with Aaron Eckhart.

Oh, and be sure to catch Aaron in Olympus Has Fallen and I, Frankenstein next year. Both are thrillers… though surely neither can compare to the thrill of having Aaron lick your chin!

Hm. So it’s not John Mayer and his sexual obsessions with Jessica Simpson and her cleft chin that we talked about all those months ago, it’s Aaron Eckhart. And hey, if I remember correctly, some of *you* guys guessed Aaron, too! Small world, isn’t it, folks?

Does this surprise you at all? Repulse you? Kind of, you know, turn you on?

December 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

9Blind Item: Justin Bieber Wants His Own Action Movie

From Blind Gossip:

Lately, this young star has been making more headlines for his personal life than for his talent. Well, his handlers are desperate to deflect your attention and give you something else to talk about. So, believe it or not, his next big project will be… as the lead in a feature film!

His preference is an action film, but he will settle for a romance. Either way, he wants to prove that he is multi-talented and not a baby anymore. Turning him into an action star or a viable romantic lead would certainly accomplish that (although adults may have a tough time believing him as either one).

Since his longevity as a teen star is running out quickly, his team knows that they may only get one shot at this, that it must be successful, and that it must happen soon. They have already started reviewing scripts and taking meetings with the goal of being in pre-production Q1 2013.

Oh, please. Please, please let this happen. If Justin Bieber starred in his very own action movie, then that would make everything worth it. All the shitty things that he’s ever said and done, all the headaches I’ve gotten from rolling my eyes at him, it would all be worth it if I could have roughly one and a half hours of him running around and doing stupid stunts and acting badly. I would put up with ten more years of Bieber if I could just have that film.

November 24, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily

9Blind Item: What A-List Actor is in Rehab Right Now?

From Blind Gossip:

Which talented Hollywood actor/writer/producer – he’s half of a popular award-winning duo – has checked himself into rehab? The gifted funnyman has been open about dabbling in drugs, but it was his relationship with a hard-partying stripper that helped him hit rock bottom real fast!

Could it be Ben Affleck? Wait. Let’s see what Ben Affleck’s been up to over the past few days, if anything. Hold please. Oh, OK. Well, Ben Affleck was out and about in public up until yesterday doing a human rights thing, which I’m assuming requires a lot of non-drug use, so unless he hooked up with a stripper last night and went to rehab this morning, I don’t know.

Thoughts?

November 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah