Yes, guys, we’ve got Tot Mom, Tanning Mom, and now there’s Barbie Mom. If you don’t know who Barbie Mom is, consider yourself one of the lucky, because she’s a big gigantic asshole, too, and chances are, you probably know too many assholes as it were.

Barbie Mom’s name is Sarah Burge, and she … well, she looks like a Barbie due to tons of plastic surgery. She’s purchased vouchers for her daughter to get plastic surgery when she’s legally able to, and she fully endorses Botox for her fifteen-year-old pageant daughter so as to avoid sweating during pageants.

During the show, Anderson asked Barbie Mom a question about her daughter’s Botox use, and after she gave up some kind of lame explanation as to how she’d much rather take her daughter for Botox than to find out her daughter’s buying black market Botox and injecting herself (… people actually do that?), Anderson fell silent and told the woman that he had nothing else to say to her because she was, and I quote, “dreadful.” There was a moment of awkward quiet, to which Burge emitted several high-pitched “That’s fine”s and excused herself from the set during the middle of taping.

Can I tell you—once more—how much I absolutely love and adore this man?

In this clip, Melissa McCarthy visits Anderson Cooper‘s talk show Anderson, whereupon Anderson busts out some of McCarthy’s high school photos.

And you are not going to believe this: “Missy” McCarthy was the senior voted Most Punk.

McCarthy explains that she had been totally preppy, in that very 1980s way—you know, cheerleading, student council, tennis—until the fateful year she returned from summer vacation with blue Kate Gosselin hair. She also wore turtleneck sweaters safety-pinned together as pants (“My mom loved it! And so did the nuns”).

I filched this video from the Hairpin, and I really recommend taking a look at the lively comments section there—especially if you wore JNCO jeans in the 1990s.

Has Kim Kardashian ever made it onto Anderson Cooper‘s RidicuList before? Because it seems like she ought to be a repeat offender.

I get that Anderson Cooper is exhausted by the Kardashian family—I do—but every once in awhile, Cooper totally zings Wolf Blitzer, and I’m just like, Anderson! For real! You’re out of control!

I gathered that Anderson thinks Courtney‘s a trashy, rotten pumpkin-head with a mad facial tic. And I’ve realized, I’m totally OK with that and, as always, I agree whole-heartedly with what the Silver Fox has to say.

Love you, Anderson!

Did you know that there are people in the world who have never tried coffee? Or spinach? ‘Cause there are. And our boy Anderson Cooper happens to be one of them. I know, I know; you’re probably thinking, “He’s how old and he’s never tried one of the largest-consumed beverages in the world?” I was blown away, too. I mean, I know plenty of people who dislike coffee, but have at least tried it at a younger age than 44.

See, I disagree about his immense dislike of coffee, as I’m a coffee fanatic myself and yes, I do drink it daily, but spinach? Oh my. Spinach probably tops my list of most-hated foods, next to any animal anatomy like liver, tripe and the like.

What foods do you detest? Are you coffee fans? Spinach fans? And probably most importantly, doesn’t Anderson Cooper just make the most wonderful faces?

It looks like it really is a crazy world, friends. Anderson Cooper and Snooki, tanning buddies? What’s next, Oprah getting a makeover from J Woww? Glenn Beck getting all roided up with Ronnie? Bill O’Reilly letting loose and cutting up with Deena? I could go on for the rest of the night, but I’ll stop so you can simply bask in the glow that is Anderson Cooper.