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American Idol

It’s Official: Mariah Carey Will Be on American Idol

A photo of Mariah Carey

In the greatest news since the invention of news, Mariah Carey is officially the newest American Idol judge. We discussed this over the weekend, and I honestly thought that it would never happen, that the rumor that Mariah was close to signing a contract was just meant to get some buzz going about the show, but thankfully, I was wrong.

The announcement was made at the Television Critics Association summer press tour, and Mariah called in because the contract had been finalized just hours before. Here’s what she had to say:

“I am so excited to be joining Idol. First of all, I wanted to be there today and I wish I could’ve been there to tell you, but I think you know this all kind of just happened real quickly, so I can’t wait to get started in a couple months.”

Yes. Just yes.

Mariah Carey And Her Cameltoe Are Coming to American Idol

A photo of Mariah Carey

Guys, LOL, hey guys! Remember these pictures of Mariah Carey and her labia? LOL!

But anyway, you know how Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler just quit their judging jobs on American Idol? And remember how X-Factor landed Britney f-cking Spears for their new panel of judges? Well, now that I’ve jogged your memory, it’s pretty obvious to see why American Idol needs to step up their game and hire a massively famous new judge pretty soon, right?

From MTV:

Mariah Carey’s songs might officially be off-limits on “American Idol”: The diva is reportedly finalizing her contract to become a judge on the singing competition.

According to Deadline, if Carey’s deal goes through, she will earn more than $17 million for one season — eclipsing Britney Spears’ reported $15 million paycheck for “X Factor.”

After last week’s “Idol” judging shakeup, which saw Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler head for the exits after two years on the job, Carey was one of the first names rumored to be in the running. The superstar’s hubby, Nick Cannon, wasn’t sure at the time whether “Idol” had deep enough pockets. “I don’t know if they can afford Mariah Carey,” Cannon told TMZ on Sunday. “That’s a lot of money.”

Well, looks like “Idol” might have come through. This isn’t the first time Mimi has been rumored as the next “Idol” judge. In 2010, the songstress was reportedly considered for the 10th season after the show originally passed on J.Lo.

If Carey is officially onboard, one big question remains: Who will sit next to her? There’s been no word so far about whether lone remaining judge Randy Jackson will stick around for season 12, but Us Weekly reported last week that he is considering a lateral move from judge to mentor on the show.

While everyone from Nicki Minaj to Katy Perry has been proposed as Carey’s possible seatmates, one person has thrown her own name in the ring: Aretha Franklin. In an email to CNN, the 70-year-old Queen of Soul expressed some R-E-S-P-E-C-T for “Idol,” saying she’d like to come onboard for the 12th season. And according to the news outlet, she wouldn’t want to come alone, suggesting Patti LaBelle join her and “Idol” vet Jackson.

Man, between that Scientology channel and this, I’m going to have to get cable real soon. Do you remember how crazy Mariah was on QVC? She’d be an unstoppable train of fabulousness and insanity on something as big as Idol then, wouldn’t she?

Seriously, just think: Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, and Patti LaBelle. Why hasn’t this already been confirmed? Actually, why hasn’t this happened years ago?

Everyone Is Leaving American Idol Again

A photo of Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler

Do you remember the feeling that you had when Paula Abdul left American Idol? It was this cold, empty feeling, like your soul was just starting to realize that it would never again be whole. And there were a couple of years that sort of blurred by with Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres, and you watched just to fill the void, but you knew that you could never feel that magical feeling that you felt before. It hurt, but you found solace in the knowledge that nothing could ever hurt as much as this. But then Simon left, and wow. Just wow. “This is it,” you thought to yourself. “This is the end. This is the place where love and hope and happiness come to die and where nothingness sets in.”

But then Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler joined up, and things were … ok. Their first season was all right, and their second season was better. You thought “maybe I can do this. Maybe I can open myself up again.”


Steven Tyler is officially gone, and here’s his glorious statement:

“After some long…hard…thoughts…I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress ‘American Idol’ before she boils my rabbit,” said Tyler. “I strayed from my first love, AEROSMITH, and I’m back – but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band. The next few years are going to be dedicated to kicking some serious ass – the ultimate in auditory takeover…On Nov. 6, we are unleashing our new album, Music from Another Dimension on the Earth, Moon, Mars, and way beyond the stars…IDOL was over-the-top fun, and I loved every minute of it…Now it’s time to bring Rock Back. ERMAHGERD.”

ERMAHGERD, CLASSIC.  I’m going to miss that crazy, creepy son of a bitch.

Jennifer Lopez, meanwhile, has been hinting at her departure from Idol for a few months now. She was on the Today show yesterday though, and it sounds like she should be making an official announcement any day now:

“I’ve loved it so much. I’ve enjoyed the show so much. I enjoy just the whole process of the show … It’s a tough decision either way, but I have to say there are so many things I do that I put on hold for that,” Lopez, 42, said. “It’s a heartbreaking decision if I have to go.”

She also said that while she loves everyone on the show,  “I am thinking it’s time for me to go and do other things I love to do.”

There’s also been talk that poor Randy will be let go so that Idol can have a completely fresh start. Possible ideas for new judges include Charlie Sheen, Adam Lambert, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj,, and Fergie. Katy Perry has already turned the job down, but Charlie Sheen told TMZ that he would be down if the price was right and if he new show, Anger Management said it was ok.

So who’s looking forward to this next season, huh?

Um, Did You Guys Know That Jim Carrey’s Daughter is on American Idol?

I didn’t. I stopped watching the show two years ago, believe it or not. I used to be a hardcore Idol lover, but the novelty eventually wore off and now, honestly, I couldn’t be bothered.

Today, though, I saw the clip of Jane Carrey‘s audition, and I have to say … I honestly wasn’t blown away. At all. Girlfriend’s got a pretty voice and she’s definitely better than a lot of tone-deaf auditionees, but honestly? I kind of think that she went through to Hollywood because producers didn’t want to upset the Jim Carrey boat. I mean, come on. Jim Carrey’s way bigger than American Idol. It’d be like, I don’t know, a daughter of Steven Tyler trying to get into the fashion business or something and everyone telling her ‘no’. That just doesn’t happen that often.

I commend girlfriend here for going it on her own, i.e., via the channels of American Idol and not having daddy pull any strings (visible ones, that is), but come on. Your father’s Jim Carrey. Did you expect the show to say, “No, sorry, you’re just not good enough”? ‘Cause it probably just won’t happen.

All in all, I thought it was a decent audition. Decent enough to probably go to Hollywood, but if they were looking for a hook for this girl’s story (aside from that whole “being Jim Carrey’s daughter” thing) in order to supplement her pretty-good voice, it just wouldn’t be there otherwise, and she may or may not end up making it to the next round. Truth is as truth does, my friends.

What did you all think of Jane’s audition? Would it be good enough for the average person to get through to the Hollywood round, or did you, too, kind of think it was sort of forgettable?

American Idol‘s Country Darlings Both Released Music Videos This Week!

You guys remember Scotty McCreery, that little country kid who won American Idol, and Lauren Alaina, that cute little first runner-up, right? If you don’t, you will now, because they’re out in the real world and they mean business.

If you look above, you can see Scotty’s very first single, “I Love You This Big.” If you look below, you can see Lauren’s very first single, “Like My Mother Does.” And if you look just a little below that, you can see the comment button, where we can all start discussing how completely insane it was that these two were the finalists and that the immensely talented Casey Abrams is now a spokesman for inflammatory bowel disease.


You guys overwhelmingly called it yesterday - this year’s American Idol is none other than Scotty McCreery.

I’m going to be honest: I’m one of those people who think he’s been one of the more likable contestants on the show, and his immediate reaction (um, looking like he was going to piss, puke, and cry at the same time) was definitely my favorite reaction of all time. I’m thrilled for this kid, and even though I’m not a big country fan, I’m going to MAKE myself like his music, because he just seems like a flat-out awesome person.

Are you guys happy with Scotty’s win?

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Last Night’s American Idol Showdown: Who’s Gonna Win This Thing Tonight?

So nope, I still haven’t watched a lick of Idol this year. Even last night. Can you believe it? I mean, I used to be a HARDCORE Idol fan, but the show lost its luster for me over the past few years. Plus? I bought The Aristocats for my daughter this past week and it FINALLY arrived in yesterday’s mail. So you know what was taking precedence last night, what was REALLY going to go down. Regardless, like a good celebrity gossip blogger, I made sure I briefed myself on what happened last night, so that I could totally take a part in being partial to one contestant or the other and go all gung-ho for the next twelve hours. I may as well jump in head-first – it’s the show’s last night, after all.

Check it out if you missed it, too.

Scotty McCreery:

Lauren Alaina:

I just think it’s so nuts that the show went totally country this year, you know? Mind blower. But after sitting through both of these performances in the wee hours of the morning, I have to say that I’m rooting for Scotty, even if Lauren’s song was a total tearjerker. I’m not in the mood to be all sentimental first thing in the morning – I’ve got to warm up to that shit.

So … Who’s going to take it tonight?

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