Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Fuck Me.

58755222mischabarton1117200931102PM This is yet another one of those "One of my Facebook friends messaged me ..." stories.  You've probably realized by now that my Facebook friends don't actually like me.  They throw horrible notes up on my wall such as "I heard that The Beautiful Life might be coming back on the air" and then they go hide behind their Farmville application for days at a time. It's not official and when I say "not official" you should know that I'm referring to "my last ray of hope."  Because if this shit com...

Tila Tequila Files Civil Suit Against Shawn Merriman. What Took Her So Long? Oh, I Know!

16983094tilatequila1117200923519PM You knew Tila Tequila wasn't going to let this go.  Though she was caught in lie after lie -- like saying she doesn't drink at all despite lots of photographic evidence to the contrary -- she has filed a civil suit against football player Shawn Merriman stemming from the September incident in which she alleged abuse. The bruises were no sooner washed off healed than she started Tweeting again about every single personal detail of her life.  Some of my Facebook friends have tried to turn me o...

I Plan on Posting Every Zach Galifianakis Bit Just Because I Like Saying His Name

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns It's a damn good thing that those "Funny or Die" skits aren't literal, because we'd all be a pile of rotting carcass right about now.  But I love being able to work "Zach Galifianakis" into any conversation such as "I'll feed you as soon as I'm done posting this really unfunny bit starring Zach Galifianakis" or "I'm not sure what the right decision is.  What would Zach Galifianakis do?" or "I hurt my ankle.  I can't remember how, bu...

It’s a Girl!

58369533adrianalima1117200980058AM Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima and her husband, pro basketball player Marko Jaric are the proud parents of a baby girl named Valentina Lima Jaric. The notoriously virginal until married model gave birth on Sunday, which is nine months and one day after her Valentine's Day wedding.  No word on the baby's stats such has length or weight, but rumor has it that Adriana should be weighing in at her normal 101.2 lbs. by the first of the month. Congrats to the happy couple on their new...

Lindsay Lohan Is Handed Bill To Pay, Doesn’t Know What To Do

57361391lindsaylohan1117200972442AM Oh, Lindsay.  Stupid, stupid little powder nose Lindsay.  When will you learn?  You really just aren't relevant enough anymore to be acting like an A-lister.  Hell, another six months and you'll be lucky to get a guest spot on celebrity Extreme Home Makeover.  (Linds, stop huffing the house paint!) We all know that LL has a penchant for taking things that aren't hers.  Jewels and fur coats and people's hard-earned sobriety all disappear in the wake of Lindsay.  On November 6th, the "actr...

Motherhood Made Brooke Shields Want to Kill Herself

58929921brookeshields1117200971919AM Brooke Shields has been pretty open about her struggles with severe depression following the birth of her children.  She wrote the book Down Came The Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression, fought publicly with Tom Cruise and appeared Sunday night at the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in New York City. Shields spoke candidly about that time in 2003 and just how close she came to ending it all: "We think and we feel that we should just be able to handle it on our own," said the actress, who is mom to two girls, R...

Beyonce and Lady Gaga Video Phone Remix Video

Ah, you know what a fan I am of Beyonce.  Watch B and Lady Gaga do high kicks and writhe around in multi-colored bustiers.  Enjoy!...

Farrah Fawcett Leaves Ex-Boyfriend $100K, Leaves Ryan O’Neal Zip

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal were together for almost thirty years.  There were a few years in the middle there where they split and dated other people, though I suspect Ryan kinda always dated other people.  They came back together near the end of Farrah's life and O'Neal certainly positioned himself as her primary caretaker.  In the last few days before the actress died, Ryan even said that they were to marry, even if he had to move Farrah's lips for her.  Romantic or hoping to stake a claim to her money?  It doesn't matter.  She died, he tried to score with his daughter at FF's funeral and now he's been frozen out of her will. Here's the news though:  Last spring, a guy named Greg Lott was giving interviews in which he claimed to be Farrah's secret boyfriend.  They dated in college, then he did two stints in the clink for drug trafficking.  According to Lott, they reunited eleven years ago and remained together until the final months leading up to Farrah's death when Ryan took over and cut off contact between the two. Hey, Lott may be a scumbag considering the fact that he shared all the details of his relationship as well as copies of personal letters with Daily Mail, but one thing remains.  Farrah didn't leave Ryan a penny, but did leave this (according to O'Neal's definition) "disgruntled ex-boyfriend" $100K.  I just love this message that Farrah was able to leave behind.  Ryan:  zero.  Secret lover:  a hundred thousand bucks. />Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal were together for almost thirty years.  There were a few years in the middle there where they split and dated other people, though I suspect Ryan kinda always dated other people.  They came back together near the end of Farrah's life and O'Neal certainly positioned himself as her primary caretaker.  In the last few days before the actress died, Ryan even said that they were to marry, even if he had to move Farrah's lips for her.  Romantic or hoping to stake a claim ...

Brangelina Design Jewelry Line Centered Around Snakes. Oh, The Irony!

Screen shot 2009-11-16 at 12.07.04 PM A publicist from Women's Wear Daily sent me a very serious and earnest email today alerting me to the new Asprey jewelry collection with pieces that are designed by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  All the pieces, including a baby spoon that costs $525, have a snake motif. And I'm sitting here in my living room looking at the pictures of this hellacious, hideous collection and all I can think is this:  "The people at Asprey -- one of the most world-renowned purveyors of fine jewelry -- really thought it would be a good idea for the two most infamous cheaters to hook up on a movie set and ditc...

Aw, Man … The Equalizer Died!

Because I know all you young 'uns are going to be like "Who the fuck is Edward Woodward?  What the hell is the Equalizer?" I found a little tribute clip that some genius on YouTube put together two years ago.  The Equalizer was a fantastic, albeit short-lived show that ran in the '80s.  "Got a problem?  Odds against you?  Call the Equalizer."  There were tons of famous and yet-to-be famous people who appeared on that show (Macaulay Culkin, Melissa Joan Hart, Kevin Spacey, Vincent D'Onofri...
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