33Sharon Stone Frightens Me

Her body looks pretty good for a 51 year old. But I fully expect to end up in a sausage casing in some shady bodega– or be disposed of in some other equally violent type of mob hit– for posting this. Something about her frightens me.

Stone butched it up in Sardinia this weekend while vacationing with family– scratching her ass, smoking a fatty, and… shoving a water hose in her mouth. That’s not a euphemism for anything– she inexplicably shoved the nozzle of a water hose in her mouth while rinsing off.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves:

More in the gallery.

September 5, 2009 at 12:27 pm by Kelly

32New Tokio Hotel Music Video – Automatic

I’ve heard the name Tokio Hotel mentioned a few times, so when I heard they had a new music video, I thought I’d check it out. Three and a half minutes (and a lot of androgynous eyeliner later) I’m  feeling a little sick to my stomach thinking about the budget required to make this piece of trash.

Is this awful? Cuz this looks awful to me. Like, This is Spinal Tap awful– with robots making out  in a giant, post-apocalyptic slinky dump instead of dwarfs dancing around tiny Stonehenge.

But then, I’m not exactly in the loop, as the kids say.

September 5, 2009 at 11:45 am by Kelly

22Ugh. Leann Rimes.

Old billy goat Rimes eschewed her usual lunch of chewin’ on other people’s husbands old tin cans  and headed out for a bite to eat at Santa Monica cafe Kreation yesterday with three puddin-bellied jabrones labeled by the paps as “friends.”

Those same three “friends” hung out with Dean Sheremet five days earlier in Dean’s new NYC stomping grounds. (I’m taking bets as to how long it will be before we see pics of Dean enjoying himself at Fire Island.)

I wonder which one of them will get to keep the “friends” in the divorce? (Dean finally filed the papers earlier this week. )

September 5, 2009 at 11:14 am by Kelly

15Does Anyone Watch SNL Anymore?

Two SNL cast members that I’ve never even heard of– Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson– were let go this weekend when the show hired two new cast members– Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad– who I’ve also never heard of.

You might know Watkins for the above character, bitchpleeze.com blogger Angie Tempura, who I’ve seen in a few Youtube clips, and even posted here once for a little self-depricating goodness. I don’t know what Wilson is responsible for, since I haven’t watched SNL in years and only know of any of anything that comes out of it from videos that go viral.

The decision to let the two go came “suddenly,” and left Watkins a little taken aback, but not exactly angry:

I don’t think anyone knows what Lorne Michaels was thinking. That’s one of the exciting things about him. If he were to vanish the show would just freeze. Not a single thing would be shot because so much hinges on him.

The only explanation I got from him — and he’s not known to say things just to make people feel better — was that he felt deep down that I should have my own show. And I agreed. SNL was a dream come true for me. It was a fantastic year. I don’t have any regrets.

September 5, 2009 at 10:39 am by Kelly

13Jade Goody’s Husband Charged with Rape

Jack Tweed, the widower of Big Brother reality TV star Jade Goody, has been charged with rape and remanded until  September 21st, when he will appear at Redbridge Magistrates’ Court.

Police arrested Tweed and another man in his twenties on Friday after a teenage girl reported that she had been assaulted at Tweed’s home in Woodford Green, east London. The other man arrested with Tweed has since been bailed out, but a third suspect was also arrested on Friday in connection with the case and is being held in a London jail.

Tweed has openly admitted that he’s had trouble coping with Goody’s death, drinking heavily and getting himself arrested for assaulting a taxi driver a few weeks after her passing. It’s regrettable that he is having such difficulty dealing with his wife’s death, but maybe he should shell out a couple pounds for a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook or something. Rape is just not a good coping mechanism.

September 5, 2009 at 9:40 am by Kelly

2Brad Pitt Carries a Sumo Wrestler

Brad Pitt carries a sumo wrestler while a Department of Eagles tune plays in the background of this new commercial for Japanese cellphone company Softbank. Spike Jonze, who directed the commercial, had said that he wanted to make the actor seem “prissy.” I think he succeeded.

American celebrities will often endorse Japanese products or film commercials that air only in Japan. The companies are either paying them a hefty sum, or they don’t mind pimping themselves out if its for a commercial that will (hopefully) never see the light of day in the U.S.

When I was there, Tommy Lee Jones’ haggard, disapproving face was plastered all over billboards advertising BOSS coffee. Brad Pitt has also done his share of coffee endorsement, although he prefers Roots brand coffee. If you’re interested, you can watch Kiefer Sutherland scream at a train full of Japanese school girls or see California’s current incumbent governor attempt to speak Japanese then fly through outer space in a red and gold tuxedo.

You should definitely watch that last one. Really.

August 23, 2009 at 6:37 pm by Kelly