Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Terrell Owens’ Honey Toasted Ego

Terrell Owens Breakfast Cereal Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens has released his very own breakfast cereal-- the very cleverly named T O's. The concept has all the self-promotional appeal of Flutie Flakes, but without any of that bothersome altruism to get in the way. The ever humble Owens has said that having his "beautiful handsome face” on the cover is better than making it on a box of Wheaties. As for the cereal itself, I've heard that it tastes exactly like Honey Nut Cheerios, except with a picture of a j...

That White Powder Isn’t Oxiclean

Florida authorities released an autopsy report yesterday stating that repeated cocaine use most likely contributed to infomercial pitchman Billy Mays' death. And no one is surprised. Well, except for  his wife. Mays' angry family called the announcement "speculative ... and frankly unnecessary." His widow, Deborah, who found her husband dead in bed, said she may hire an independent expert to review the findings. She said she was unaware of any drug use by her husband, beyond prescripti...

How Much Are Your Children Worth to You?

Debbie Rowe in a Shirt that Shows Her Kindred Spirits: Bitches Wendie has a nose for bullshit that could rival the midwest's finest manure manufacturers. A few days ago, she reported that Debbie Rowe and the Jackson family had reached a custody agreement that allowed Rowe to retain her parental rights, but made Katherine Jackson-- Michael's mother-- the children’s legal guardian. It was reported that the agreement was reached without a single penny changing hands.Well, technically they were right.  I'd imagine that the $4 Million the Jackson family...

Nicolas Cage is Broke

Nicolas Cage is Broker than Every Swimming Record that's Ever Met Up with Michael Phelps Nicolas Cage owes $6.2 Million in back taxes to the IRS. The tax lien stems from unpaid income taxes for 2007. Months ago, the star settled another debt with the IRS, paying $666,000 in penalties for improperly deducted personal expenses. Cage's $3.5 Million New Orleans mansion is currently up for sale, as is his $35 Million Hollywood home. All sure signs that the actor is flat broke and is trying to dig himself out of a massive hole of debt. At first I felt kind of bad for him, but then I...

Stephenie Meyer to Star in Comic Book

Female Force: Stephanie Meyer The author if the Twilight series of novels is slated to appear in her very own comic book, entitled Female Force: Stephenie Meyer. Bluewater president Darren G. Davis was enthusiastic about the project, saying that Meyer’s story would be, “Very fun, respectful, and unique.”  The comic is scheduled to be released just in time for the sequel to the Twilight film titled New Moon, which is set for debut in late November of 2009.  Meyer joins good company with Female Force, a series of books des...

Marky Mark Ties the Knotty Knot

The Beautiful Bride Mark Wahlberg did the matrimonial deed with girlfriend Rhea Durham yesterday in Beverly Hills. As usual, the paps were there to annoy the wedding party and generally cause chaos outside the church. We reap the rewards of their tresspasses with these pics of the happy couple looking not so happy about all the photographers crashing the party. I understand wanting to keep your wedding day private-- something special for family and friends only. But they would have done better to just smile and p...