Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian Thinks Turtlenecks Can Be Sexy

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian is apparently an authority on fashion (not to me, but just saying) and despite her awful pregnancy clothing choices, she’s spouting off about how to dress sexy. Because, you know, that’s what we’re all concerned about, ladies! Make sure you look good so bros will want to f-ck you and other women will be jealous of you/want to look just like you! But hey, don’t go getting all up in arms just yet. If you don’t have the body to pull off a mini dress or halter top, you can still look sexy – just put on a turtleneck!

From Now:

I’ve tried to stick to what I’d usually wear but you obviously have to change it a little bit,’ says Kim, 32. ‘You try things you think will work, but they don’t always work!

‘Anything stretchy works. So long as you feel good in something, you’ll feel sexy, too.’

Kim wants to be a yummy mummy.

‘I think there are different versions of sexy,’ she says.

‘There’s overly sexy, where you’re showing off and it’s, like, short and tight. Then there’s sophisticated and sexy; and then there’s effortless and sexy, not showing any skin.

‘You can wear a turtleneck and have that be super-sexy. I guess it depends on what sexiness is to you.

‘To me, now, it’s not showing everything like it once was, when I felt I wanted to wear the skintight short dress with boobs out. Now I don’t feel like that’s what it takes to be sexy.’

Well, that’s true enough – sexiness is definitely different to everyone and that makes this big wide world continue to spin. However, I think it’s hilarious that Kim is trying to get all philosophical about this, like she’s expressing some deep thought that has never occurred to anyone else before. Plus, it’s not like she’s following her own advice. We’ve seen that horrendous pregnancy fashion. If you didn’t feel you needed to wear skintight dresses and stuff your puffy ass feet into 6″ stilettos that LOOK painful, so I can only imagine how they feel… then we might have something to go on. Until then, STFU.

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  • Back before he was famous, Drew Carey was featured on some young comics special. His main (and hysterical) bit was about people not realizing how they looked to the outside world and his tag line was “Dress for your body size!” I think of that every time I see a picture of Kim.