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22Oh My God, Did You Know Sherlock Was Kidnapped In 2005?

benedict cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch is a rich doucher of the highest order, so you’d figure that he has lots of crazy stories of adventurous (expensive) shit he’s done in the past, right? Well hang onto your hats, because this is a good one. Apparently, our man Sherlock was filming a TV series called To the Ends of the Earth in South Africa in 2005 when he was kidnapped by a six-member gang. Wuuuuut.

From Event magazine (via DS):

“I had this realisation that it doesn’t matter how loved you are in your life, you die on your own,” he told Event. “I’ve still got a scar where I was tied up. It was terrifying.

“The next morning I woke up as a free man with the sun on my face and I cried. I thought I’d never feel its warmth again.”

Kewl story, bro. Literally. But dear God, you can tell he’s an actor. “I thought I’d never feel its warmth again”? Ugh, fuck off, this is Hollywood, not Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre.

I don’t care enough about this story to dig deeper and find out anything else about this kidnapping – after all, he’s alive, so it can’t have been that bad (yes, I’m being flippant). If any of you Cumberbitches (that’s what you call yourselves, right?) can clue me in on this one, let ‘er rip.

May 9, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

22 Responses to “Oh My God, Did You Know Sherlock Was Kidnapped In 2005?”

  1. MsLittlejohn says:

    Okay, who is he??

  2. Brooklyn says:

    when my ex boyfriend of 6 years was 14 years old he was living on the streets of LA. he was lured to a warehouse with the promise of somewhere to sleep. an older man in his 40′s ended up locking him in and raped him for every day for about 3 weeks before he could get away. the fucked up part was that other kids his age new he was there. he lived but for a long time he wished he had not so your comments really do make you sound like a dick.

  3. RayRay says:

    Bit of an aggressive post about what was probably a really traumatic event? Talk about unnecessary. Looking at your other posts today you’re clearly in a bit of an a-hole kind of mood.

    God, no wonder readers have gone to other sites if you think it’s appropriate to talk about something so seriously in such a dick way.

  4. gee_gee says:

    HaHaHa!!

    It’s kinda funny how pissed off you can be at a guy who got kidnapped.

    I can’t wait to read your reaction to someone’s rape or child abuse story.

  5. cocopuffsaredelicious says:

    ..Really? Really?? He was kidnapped and you think his reaction is over the top? it was south fucking africa. I don’t care who it is that this happened to you shouldnt ‘report’ it in such a flippant way. Beyond unnecessary and rude.

  6. P1LL says:

    @ cocopuffsaredelicious ,gee_gee, RayRay & Brooklyn.

    He is a man so he has already got a black mark against him in Jennifer’s book.
    Did you not get the memo that EBG has become a feminazi site that regurgitates days old news from the likes of TMZ etc but with a slice of man hate ?
    I really miss Sacha,Em,Molls, Sarah :(

    • Tor says:

      Oh, shut the fuck up. Being a feminist doesn´t make you a nazi. Plus I hate that term. Have you ever seen feminists setting up concentration camps and turning people into soap… People need to stop throwing that term around, it´s ignorant as fuck.

      On another note, this site ALWAYS regurgitated old gossip from TMZ, even when your beloved Sarah et al were here.

    • RayRay says:

      @P1LL

      While I have no issue with feminism whatsoever and think you’re slightly overexaggerating, it’s the particular brand of it that marks some posts recently that can bother me.

      More to the point in this instance, however, is that the posts recently just seem to be written in a really miserable way. The posts aren’t discussing people in a funny and obviously joking way, they aren’t written in a light-hearted manner, and topics like THIS particular story – which can’t and/or shouldn’t be joked about – are actually written about really aggressively. It’s just Jen can get so heated over little things like, god forbid, asking Beyoncé, a still fairly new mother about her child, yet she doesn’t have it within her to go “fuck, a kidnapping, that’s pretty crap.” That’s my issue. (And again, I have no issue with certain types of feminism.. but priorities much?)

      All you have to do is skim read some of the recent posts to see how grumpy/miserable they are (except about Lana del Rey, which says it all… :P)

      I come to EBG for a bit of fluff to distract me when I’m bored. I’m not asking for Hemmingway quality writing. It’d just be nice if every post wasn’t so damn miserable or, in this case, utterly insensitive. Can’t even remember the last time I laughed at a post on this site – only the comments have made me giggle. I literally come here out of habit now. I didn’t want to jump on the “I miss Emily and Sarah” train without giving the new writers a chance. But damn, at least they were happy and humorous.

      TL;DR: All the posts are miserable.

      • ltc says:

        * slow clap *

      • gee_gee says:

        *This.

      • Cece says:

        Seconded. I used to laugh at all the witty posts, now either I don’t care about who they’re writing about or the writing is really bitchy. Not bitchy in the “haha silly betch” way like the old writers, but just whiny, aggressive and dickish.

      • sifusanders says:

        ^this

      • Tor says:

        Obviously I agree with most of what RayRay is saying. This site is miserable as fuck. What I don’t agree with is this ‘certain brand of feminism’. The fact that site has become miserable has nothing to do with feminism! I read this post, and didn’t think of feminism, I thought wow. This is miserable as fuuuuuuck. Where people are getting this feminist spin from I don’t know. It’s quite uhhh.. misinformed though.

    • gee_gee says:

      Ehhh. Okay, you are now more annoying than this story. The writers on this site hate Gwyneth Paltrow and Anne Hathway, seemingly more than anyone else on the planet so I don’t see how that comes across as man hate.

      But, whatevs, Rush Lamebaugh.

  7. FornitSomeFornus says:

    God DANG, what crawled up your ass yesterday??? I used to be a regular reader, now I’d describe myself as occasional. After this post, perhaps an ex-reader.

  8. RayRay says:

    @Tor – just to clarify, I wasn’t referring to any feminist slant on this particular story, hence I said “in this instance” – that particular gripe is to do with other stories, which I cba to go into. The main point here was the grumpiness.

  9. Murry says:

    Wow, Jennifer, you’re kind of a cunt, aren’t you?

  10. Whodatninja says:

    This is only the second article I’ve read from this site. The first was terrible. This was worse. Cynical pathetic attempt at edge humor that comes off more like a very unhappy jerk without an editor to shape it all into something that isn’t just plain ugly. This is a terrible site. I regret coming here and will not return. Cue some snarky asshole remark by one of your so called writers. Or not. It doesn’t really matter.

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