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6Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Be More Like Jessica Simpson: Uh, Okay?

Today in “LOL, yeah the f-ck right” news, apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is scaling back her acting ambitions to start working on building an empire like that of… Jessica Simpson? AHAHAHAH. I don’t know what’s funnier, Gwyn coveting Jessica’s life or the thought of either of them being the owners of “an empire”. Granted, Jessica does make bank on those ugly ass shoes she sells, but still. Gwyneth has apparently lost her love of making movies and found some for that bullshit Goop website she runs and making money off overpriced housewares that no one needs, apparently.

According to US Weekly:

Gwyneth Paltrow is giving up showbiz for, well, business. A source says that after the 33 Dias actress wraps her next few films, she will focus on growing her lifestyle website, Goop, and the fitness company she co-owns with trainer Tracy Anderson.

Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.”

The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.”

Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”

Well, I never had passion for movies she was in, so I guess that makes us even now. There’s no way this story is true, but it’s still pretty hilarious to picture ol’ Gwyny sipping away at her first cup of liquified field moss of the day and daydreaming about being the next Jessica Simpson.

February 19, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

6 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Be More Like Jessica Simpson: Uh, Okay?”

  1. DarkEmpress says:

    Jessica makes affordable items that are mainstream so she has a lot of customers. Gweneth likes expensive avante garde items that the general public doesn’t connect with. Not gonna work.

  2. Sari says:

    Add her to the list of celebrities who say they are going to stop Hollywood, then quickly retract. What a racket. How do you join?

  3. DarkEmpress and Sari have wise comments.

    I do love your “liquefied field moss” comment. Very correct.

    Gwinnie Pig needs to “heal”.. don’tcha know…

    She’s a bit out of touch.. with reality, that is.. or even worse, she’s IN touch, but wants you to think she’s out of touch ’cause she’s so elite and all that, don’tcha know..

  4. blasted1 says:

    Well, Gwyneth will have to turn her frontal lobe ino liquefied field moss and start farting a lot if she wants to walk in the slut shoes of Jessica Simpson.

  5. Tara says:

    I love Jess as a person, but her clothes are questionable. I tried on this reallllllllly cute Jackie O-ish dress at Marshall’s but the skirt lining made the bottom half really stiff and awkward and added about an inch to my hips/thighs on either side. Too bad, it was this awesome combination of comfy jersey like material and retro tailoring.

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