Remember how excited we all got when the above photo of Adele seemingly giving Chris Brown a piece of her mind during the Grammys hit the internet? Ah, those were the days. “Tell it, girl!” we thought to ourselves. “Give that asshole a hard time!” Adele became a feminist spearhead, putting that lying, misogynistic, homophobic, violent, worthless waste of space in his place. Justice was being served! Life was good!
Well, prepare to set your chin in your hands and exhale in that exasperated way that blows your bangs out of your face as you look to the heavens, because it turns out Adele wasn’t mad at Chris at all – she was actually complimenting him!
Chris Brown and I were complimenting each other in that photo actually!
— Adele (@OfficialAdele) February 13, 2013
Uh, what in the hell was she complimenting him on? Let’s think of the possibilities here:
1. Chris, I have to say, your insistence on solving issues with your fists is astounding!
2. Wow, Chris, I’ve been a fan ever since I saw those photos of Rihanna’s beaten face!
3. Oh my God, it’s Chris Brown! Your hatred towards gay people is just inspiring.
4. Only Chris Brown could be sentenced to community service and try to get away with lying about having actually done it. Kudos!
I could go on and on, but my brain is going to eat itself if I keep talking about him.