It’s just that time of the year, guys. We’re all going to get sick. Me, I’ve got the stupidest cold ever right now. My head feels funny and I don’t want to do anything. Maybe you’ve had that awful flu. Maybe you caught malaria or diphtheria or syphilis or something, I don’t know. But the point is that people are just generally ill this time of year. And that includes beautiful and glamorous celebrities like Lindsay Lohan!
See, Lindsay has an upper respiratory infection. She has a doctor’s note and everything! I know that she has a doctor’s note because that’s what her new lawyer sent over to Lindsay’s judge in L.A. to explain why she won’t be in court tomorrow as required. He also sent some news article about how that flu epidemic hit New York a couple of weeks ago. You know, just to flesh everything out.
And yeah, TMZ got photos of Lindsay out and about over the weekend, shopping and smoking and having a grand old time. I know that when I’m sick enough to go to a doctor with a cold that I always feel like walking around for hours, too. Like, yeah, it feels like my head is going to fall off my body and my throat is going to collapse in on itself and every single ounce of fluid in my body is going to trickle out of my nose, but so what? Let’s get some shoes!
But ok, here’s the thing: Lindsay was really, really supposed to be in court. I don’t want to freak her out or anything, it’s just that she really was supposed to be there. And if the judge finds out that she wasn’t really sick – not that I’m saying she’s lying – it could be bad, bad news for Lindsay. It won’t be, but it could be. And that’s the important thing. Basically, the judge could issue a warrant for Lindsay’s arrest tomorrow if she wanted to. That’s all.