Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Joaquin Phoenix: Would You, Still?

photo of joaquin phoenix pictures, photos
Oh Joaquin Phoenix. How you’re still such an important part of my entertainment life. Even when you said “bye! Good” to us, I never stopped loving you. Even when you embarked on a drunken “rap career,” I maintained my adoration. Throughout everything—any by “everything,” I mean the “massive fleecing you put over on all of us boned us with“—I stood by you, because you’re one of my main men.

This new look, though. This baggedy, raggedy sheepdog look you’ve got going on, dude: it is not flattering. Can I take you for a walk somewhere real quick-like? Can we journey on a trip down memory lane? Because for real, this is how I love my Joaquin:

photo of joaquin phoenix 2012 hot pictures, photos
Or, you know, even this:

photo of joaquin phoenix hot pictures, photos
Yeah, this is a little bit on the skinny side, but it’s still totally hot.

Last, let’s just look at this one time—this being the hottest photo probably ever taken:

photo of joaquin phoenix pictures, photos
Now. Can we do something about that … that f-cking bedraggledness that’s all resting up on your shoulders? Please?

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