Can I say something without freaking most of you guys out? Because I’d really like to say this: Macaulay Culkin is looking hot these days. I mean, completely trying to forget about the fact that he used to be Kevin McAllister, Macaulay Culkin is almost … yummy. There—I said it. Macaulay Culkin is f-cking hot these days, and it definitely helps that he doesn’t look like the methed-out homeless man who happened to be Matthew McConaughey’s stand-in on the set of ‘The Dallas Buyer’s Club’.
No, I love the hair, I love the lack of furry facial hair, and I love the fact that you can’t even see his red, bloodshot eyes because of the oversize sunglasses. It’s all pretty great, and that’s coming from the pure, sincere place that I don’t often show to the world.
Is he clean? Is he eating? Did he give up the booze? I don’t know on any counts, but what I do know is that I’d totally hit that. … At least for now, anyway.