Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Now Lindsay Might Not Even Go to Jail

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Can I be frank here? Because this blows. This absolutely blows. We’ve spent the past few weeks believing that, after all this time, Lindsay Lohan might finally be held accountable for her actions. That she might get in trouble for punching someone in the head and for lying to police, and that she’d at least get into trouble for not being super good after she stole that necklace.

But no, probably not. Because Lindsay’s judge “is not a big jail person.” Ugh.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan may have done it again … dodged a jail bullet by the luck of the judicial draw.

We broke the story … Lindsay will be arraigned today on 3 criminal charges — including lying to cops — in connection with her car accident on Pacific Coast Highway last June.  We know the judge who will arraign her — Commissioner Jane Godfrey — will formally revoke her probation during the hearing.  As you know, she’s on probation for the jewelry heist case.

The Commissioner will order a formal hearing, and if the evidence shows it’s more likely than not that LiLo committed a crime, the Commish could send her to jail for as long as 245 days.

Now the good news for Lindsay.  One source very familiar with the Commish tells TMZ … “Godfrey is not a big jail person.”

Get this.  Commissioner Godfrey presides over Drug Court, in which she hears case after case involving people with serious drug cases.  Godfrey strongly favors counseling over jail, to the point she has a graduation ceremony for people who complete the program and digs into her own pocket to buy little gifts for the graduates … like Starbucks cards.

And the Commish presides over Homeless Court … where she deals with homeless people who have committed crimes and gets them help to rehabilitate them, instead of throwing them in jail.

Ok, look. I think this judge sounds like a really good judge. I think it’s important to help people, and it’s admirable that she favors counseling over jail. Some people who commit crimes really need guidance, and others just don’t give a f-ck. I think we know which category Lindsay falls into.

It’s just that some people learn differently than others. It’s like teachers: there are going to be some kids who feel challenged by an aggressive, slightly mean teacher, and there are going to be some kids who can’t handle that kind of attitude. I know I completely shut down when someone’s trying to teach me something and they don’t do it the right way. I need to be spoken to softly, and I need smiles and reassurance. Or, ok, I don’t need it, but if someone starts coming down on me too hard I’m going to be too busy freaking out about how this one moment of failure completely ruined my whole entire life to focus.

But Lindsay needs to be scared straight. She’s been to rehab several times, she’s had therapy sessions and meds and all those things, but obviously it didn’t turn out so well. I think it’s ok to be a little more tough with her this time around, that’s all.

UPDATE: Lindsay’s probation has officially been revoked. Lindsay’s due in court on January 15th to decide her sentence. Shit’s getting real.

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