Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mariah Carey Got The Most Serious Massage

A photo of Mariah Carey

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering why I’m seriously dedicating a whole post to some massage that Mariah Carey got, and I understand that. It does seem like a particularly boring subject, but guys. You have to trust me on this one. Because this story is awesome.

From Us Weekly:

The American Idol diva arranged an eight-hour rub-down while she got shut-eye at her L.A. mansion September 29.

“The masseuse made $1,500,” a source tells Us Weekly. On top of that, Carey had a seriously kooky request.

“She insisted [Sacha Baron Cohen's] Bruno play on repeat,” the insider adds. “It looped the entire time!”

This is what rich people do. They get massages for eight hours while watching Bruno over and over and napping. I’m having trouble even comprehending that. I thought about getting a massage one time, but then I figured I’d probably just pay my water bill or whatever. Or go shopping. Because no joke, I think I’m developing a moderate addiction to shopping. The other day I was out and I just bought two pairs of jeans on a whim, and when I got home I was like “I don’t even like these,” so I took them back and got different clothes. And then last week I got some whey protein because I’ve been getting into fitness and all, and I made a drink and it was so gross and I felt sick, so I asked my boyfriend if it had any sort of dairy in it (I’m lactose intolerant), and he just looked at me and I was like “oh, right.”

Did I just get incredibly off topic? It’s because Mariah Carey’s massage just completely blew my mind.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I haven’t gotten many massages, mostly because I’ve always been on a tight budget, but the few times I’ve splurged and gotten one, I’ve always tried really hard not to fall asleep, because I don’t want to miss something that I’m paying so much for. Clearly Mariah Carey doesn’t really care about “wasting” money by sleeping through a massage…

  • Massages are awesome . . . if you’re at a spa or, more likely and more affordably, if you get one from a friend. I wanted to get pizza one time and a friend didn’t have the budget for it, so I bought him one and he gave me a backrub until the pizza arrived.

    So good for Mariah Carey. I would do crazy stuff like that all of the time if I were rich. I MEAN THAT I WILL WHEN I AM RICH. #determination

    I hope that my masseur likes superhero cartoons, because I am going to marathon those.

    • Right!?!? I was expecting this post to end with “….and an 8 hr massage gave her a diva size camel toe that she couldn’t shake off for a week.”

    • I love how it’s the go-to image they use when they have no photo to illustrate the story. That’s why I love EBG so much.

  • This photo is so disturbing… Hope the masseuse didn’t get too close to that camel cause, it looks as if it might bite.

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