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7Hey, the Official American Idol Promo Portrait is Here!

photo of american idol pictures photos
So let’s take a good, hard look at this now, huh? Let’s talk about how Randy, though a long-time staple of the show, looks so, so out of place in this picture? And how Mariah’s got the typical “stand to the side” thing (because DUH, it’s supposed to make you look skinnier and THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE WORLD) going on hardcore, and how Ryan Seacrest is just laughing at the whole thing because he’s making bank and doesn’t give a putrid rat’s ass who likes whom and whatever, and then you have Nicki Minaj. Who literally (not virtually) makes me want to die each and every time I look at her stupid mug, pulling stupid faces. Is this what American Idol‘s been reduced to? A plethora of Nicki Minaj faces? Last, you have Keith Urban, who, though has only been on the job for about a week, is probably already reconsidering everything, and that’s saying a lot, guys. It’s saying a lot because he lives with Nicole Kidman, and her drama and weird faces pretty much trump everything. ‘Til now.

Also, remember how we were talking about that feud that’s happening already between Mariah and Nicki? Well come on. It’s not happening, of course. From MTV:

MTV News paid a visit to the “Idol” set at Lincoln Center on Monday (September 17), and the judges — including Minaj and Carey — were all smiles, immediately putting to rest tales of bad blood between the two.

“How are we gonna feud in two days? A feud takes a little longer to spread out [than that],” Mariah responded, laughing, when asked if she and the YMCMB rapper were seeing eye-to-eye.

“It’s fun, it’s music, it’s singing, it’s laughter,” she added, while Minaj chuckled along with her, looking amused at the beef rumors.

No, Minaj is looking amused not at the beef rumors, but at the mention of the word ‘beef’. How do you think she got all that ass, anyhow? Don’t tell me that’s not some kind of weird bovine injectible or something, gosh.

Really, the only thing I can say about all of this is is goodnight and goodbye, American Idol. That and, “Please don’t make me write another post about you ever again, OK?”

September 18, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: American Idol

7 Responses to “Hey, the Official American Idol Promo Portrait is Here!”

  1. evilbeetdouche says:

    Fake fun squad if I ever saw it.

  2. Hawk says:

    They must have given Mariah a bonus check if she agreed to let this walking parade float share the spotlight with her.

  3. uj says:

    keiths pretty good on the voice. encouraging, seems to know his stuff and gives constructive feeback. seems, since im pretty tone deaf and never hear when someone is off key, pitch and all that stuff unless they are really really bad and cant sing at all.

  4. LegalEase says:

    god, i fucking hate nikki minaj.

  5. KatiePie says:

    Can’t that stupid Nikki Minaj take a normal picture for fks sakes!?

  6. pikki nikki polka pants says:

    yeah, enough with the sex doll faces, crikey minaj. annoying to the max.

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