Or, more specifically, Kris Humphries is getting sued for having herpes and then having sex with someone else and thus transferring some of his herpes to a new home. You can’t get sued for just having herpes. I think.
Kayla Goldberg claims she met Kris in August, 2010 at the Newsroom Cafe on Robertson Blvd in L.A. — long before Kris met Kim Kardashian. The two flirted, exchanged numbers, and Kayla claims that night they met up at Trousdale nightclub on the Sunset Strip.
According to the suit, Kris came on to Kayla, touching, kissing and dancing with her. Kayla claims he took her to his hotel and they had sex multiple times … including oral sex. The suit claims during a portion of the sexual encounter Kris did not wear a condom.
The lawsuit claims Kris did not inform Kayla he had herpes — and she claims in the suit that he did indeed have the disease.
Kayla says a week later she was diagnosed with herpes. Her symptoms included a sore throat, fever, body aches and immobilizing pain, as well as extreme vaginal irritation and painful lesions on her genitalia.
She’s suing for sexual battery claiming Kris knew he had herpes when they hooked up and didn’t tell her.
Kayla — who put her full name in the lawsuit — is suing for unspecified damages.
Well, ok, bullshit. I mean, it’s obviously wrong to have unprotected sex with someone without telling them you have an STD. That’s a pretty shitty move. But if you’re going to have sex with someone, especially someone that you’re not in a committed relationship with, you should probably wear a condom, you know? Because right or wrong, you can’t trust some dude who’s trying to hook up with you to tell you upfront if he has any friends down below. You’ve got to look out for yourself.
And I’m saying this as someone who doesn’t have herpes (swearsies!), but I didn’t think herpes was that big of a deal. I’m sure it’s not super fun, but there are definitely worse STDs to get. And that’s why you wear a raincoat, kids. I know, I know, if you wear a raincoat, you can’t feel the rain, but you have to remember that sometimes the rain has gonorrhea.
Oh, but Kris Humphries wants you to know that he doesn’t even have herpes. So carry on, friends.