Today's Evil Beet Gossip

We Need to Talk About Honey Boo Boo Child Right This Instant

A photo of Honey Boo Boo Child

Have you guys been watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC? Oh god, I hope so. If not, here’s a real quick rundown: Honey Boo Boo is the nickname of a little girl from Georgia named Alana, and she was on Toddlers and Tiaras with her mom, June, and they were truly a sight to behold. They got a lot of press because of Honey Boo Boo’s “go go juice,” a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew that her mom gives her sometimes to perk her up for pageants. And with every interview, they captured the hearts of America, and they got their very own reality show. And it’s amazing.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is everything you could want in a reality show: it’s really, really entertaining, but you’ll feel guilty and just a little bit dirty for watching it. In just two images, here’s essentially all you need to know about the show:

Are we all caught up? Good, now let’s talk about how this joy was almost destroyed after children’s services came by to pay this family a visit.

From the National Enquirer:

“HONEY BOO BOO” has become an overnight sensation – but the sassy 6-year-old pageant queen almost didn’t have her shot at prime time after charges of child abuse nearly kept TLC’s hit new real­ity show off the air.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” premiered to huge ratings on Aug. 8. The show follows the lives of the Thomp­son family from rural McIntyre, Ga., including TLC’s new runaway star, Alana, aka “Honey Boo Boo.” The network decided to give the unforgettable little girl her own series after videos of her appearances on the cable network’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” went viral earlier this year.

BUT production of the show nearly came to a screeching halt shortly after filming began in March when investigators from Georgia’s Division of Family and Children Ser­vices made an unannounced visit to the family’s home.

“Honey Boo Boo’s upbringing raised eyebrows with neighbors,” a source told The ENQUIRER. “The parents feed her energy drinks, cheese puffs for breakfast and brag about how they cook roadkill for meals. She even eats roadkill with flies swarming around her head!”

But the authorities didn’t get in­volved until a videotape of Honey Boo Boo dancing for dollars on a ta­ble in a bar was posted online. In the scene, which was not filmed by TLC, mom June defended her daugh­ter’s actions by explaining that it was a college bar, not a “sleazy” one.

Investigators found reason to bring the case to court, but June’s court-appointed at­torney was able to convince the judge to throw it out, and film­ing resumed in May.

The first episode of the show – which showcases a whole lot of belly-slapping and gas-passing – drew an impressive 2.2 million viewers, but it also received a con­siderable amount of criticism.

And that criticism is bound to increase later in the season after Alana’s 17-year-old sister Anna, aka “Chickadee,” gives birth to a baby girl with two right thumbs – and grandma June makes fun of the defect!

“If the family had been charged for having bad taste,” added the source, “the judge would have thrown the book at them!”

I really doubt the bit about the roadkill, but I’m sure everything else is true. This family, you guys. TLC sure hit the trashy reality jackpot with this one. And I LOVE it.

37 CommentsLeave a comment

    • They go to the Redneck Games, which are “basically like the Olympics” where they have events like belly flopping in this big mud puddle and bobbing for pig feet. Not cooked pigs feet, just regular old pigs feet in a tub of water that you pull out with your mouth. So yeah, basically.

      • Is that a joke or does it actually happen because Emily do you know how much money you could make organising Bible Belts tours for Europeans??

  • I fear we will find out something about this family that will make us think twice about laughing at them.

    And TLC is going to hell. I hope.

    • The mom in in her early 30’s and the daughter is 17, making her 12 when she gave birth when she was like 13…..and I am floored that this piece of information keeps escaping everyone.

      • When did The Learning Channel become The Loser Channel? How is this learning? Guess this is what transfats and hfcs diets do to people. And TLC thinks this is okay to show as a positive anthropological study?

    • Typing that on my phone didn’t go to well….what I was trying to say was The mother has a daughter that is 17 (about to give birth) the mother is like 32 or 33 and the dad is afew years older which would make her 12 or 13 when she gave birth and the dad near 20……This is disgusting that this disaster is being glorified. The show should be a warning about the dangers of being an ignorant disgusting hillbilly and not about how”funny” these people are….if you watch and look into the husbands eyes……he looks like a broken/beaten man. :( the entire thing is just sad sad sad

      • She says on the show that she got pregnant at 15 which makes her husband 23 at that time. Still gross, but not AS deplorable.

      • Her husband is not ye father of the older girls. She even says they have only been together 8 years

      • What I was able to watch…..understanding what they were saying was near impossible. I take it since you quoted the show you are a fan?

      • Your a sad and ignorant person. The show is wonderful. And it does not matter what class a person is 12 and 13 year old rich kids are having babies and what do you think of them? Were you lucky enough to be handed the grand life with money and material things? They have heart and love their children. They are more true to being happy with what they were given than you ever could. And I do believe that somewhere in the Bible it say’s not to judge others. love for you from this hillbilly :)

  • Whatever, this show is probably one of the greatest things to happen on tv. It’s a freak show that I can not turn away from, gotta love a hillbilly.

  • Good show but I think it could get old quick. The charm is they do seem happy and supportive of each other. I am not a food snob or dinner dictator, but dam Mama June, you are really pushing it. She needs to watch her poor eating habits and what she is teaching/feeding her kids. She is the type 2 diabetes and heart disease poster woman.

    • I can’t laugh…I just can’t…it literally makes me sick to my stomach to know there are people out there like this…and they are not the only one. The mother is disgusting and lack even the most basic manners…..the whole thing is a disaster and makes me question humanity as a whole to know enough people found this trashy family entertaining enough to give them a show. Unless at the core of it, people like it because people like to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

      • I agree with you, Irish. And when in the history of reality shows has the experience helped anybody? Divorces, DUIs, bankruptcy, spousal abuse, suicide, you name it. If the TLC money were going toward college for the little girl that would be a plus but, come on, you and I both know that ain’t happening. You just wait. Something will happen that (like somebody else here said) will make this whole think not so funny anymore. “The Learning Channel” – who are you kidding? I think Satan is a marketing executive for them.

  • No the roadkill thing is true. (Saw the clips on The Soup) The ‘flies swarming’ while they ate roadkill? Not sure about that detail. These people just confirm a lot about what the rest of the world thinks of Americans.
    ‘Live and let live’ but still gross all the same

  • I have been wanting to post something about the ridiculous show for a long time now. I will not support television like this. I mean I really think people watch this show just to laugh at this family. Omg! Go figure they have a pregnant teenage daughter. Oh and a pig for a pet..really ppl come on..how redneck is that? This woman is morbidly obese as well as her children. I feel really sorry for this little girl. Not only will her pageant career end up in their outhouse…but it is going to crap already. She has not been doing good in her recent pageants anyways. The future does not look good for this little girl and all everyone can do is laugh about it. If this is what everyone sits down to watch and laugh at every night then you must really not have a life. I want everyone that supports this show to read this article I found. I agree with it 120% and if you disagree there is something very wrong with you.
    http://tv.msn.com/mom-pop-culture/honey-boo-boo-not-funny-anymore/story/

  • And FYI I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth but I was raised in the back woods here in TN. And guess what I do not act like TRASH and I find it sad that they have to just to get attention..

    • Where abouts in Tennessee, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m just wondering, being from the backwoods of Tennessee myself.

  • Nashville, here. Several years ago, our state legislature made national news by officially legalizing the consumption of roadkill. I’m from central PA, usually not identified with hillbillies, but they are bountiful there, too, along with some very fine institutions of higher learning. We’re all just apes in suits, anyway.

    • “We’re all just apes in suits, anyway.”

      You said it best.

      Sure, this show horrifies me, sort of, but look: her kids are all happy. Maybe a bit misguided, but they’re happy, they laugh and have fun and they’re all comfortable with themselves. How is that bad? And at least June isn’t your typical pageant mother… she wants her kid to do good because her kids likes it, she’s not horrible like most of the other Toddlers and Tiaras mothers.

      Yeah, I would never do 90% of what these people do, and I would never, ever act the way they do, but I don’t see a lot of actual horror here. If they’re happy, they’re happy.

  • Ugh..that link Kamron made the show sound so much worse than it was. I actually did watch the 1st three episode, and it it very entertaining. Not all three of her daughters are obese as the article makes it sound: the pregnant one is very slim actually, and the other one is SLIGHTLY chunky.

    I hate kid pageants, but they do occur. Aside from that I think the lady is a good mom and deals with what she has. So what? You don’t fart, make fart jokes, or general BS with your kids? Everything is prim and proper at home? Never had a home made slip and slide? I am no redneck but one time it was hot as hell out and we do not have a pool, so we made one: super fun. some of you need to take the stick out of your asses and pass some gas, maybe you will get a sense of humor.

  • GLITZY HAVE YOU EVER HERD THE TERM SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL, SUPPOSED TO MEAN A CHEAP PISTOL, IN YOUR CASE GLITZY YOU ARE THE SATURDAY NIGHT BBQ SPECIAL. RUN GLITZY RUN YOU NO LIKE FORREST GUMP MOVIE.GLITZY THE ANIMAL HUMANE SOCIETY RESCUE IS ON THE WAY JUST HIDE AND HANG ON.OR CALL ME AT 1-800-BBQ-HELL!!!!!!!(TASTY)

  • GLITZY GET OUT YOU ARE NOT A CAT WITH9 LIVES. GLITZY YOU HAVE MORE MANNERS THAN THE SLOBES UNCUTH RETARED FAMILY OF PIGS YOU ARE WITH. COME HERE I WILL PUT YOU WITH 2000 OTHER HOGS ON MY FARM

  • There are no doubt 1000’s and 1000’s of families living like that across America they just aren’t on TV. yet !! And many are not doing it because of choice.

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