Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Now Introducing The GOOP Collection!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “man, I wish Gwyneth Paltrow would design some clothes”? Do you read GOOP newsletter after GOOP newsletter, desperately wishing that you can find affordable, adorable basics envisioned by none other than the GOOP herself? Then I’ll be honest, you’ve got a lot of time on your hands and some weird ideas about what’s important, but my opinion doesn’t matter, because your wish finally came true!

Yes, Gwyneth teamed up with some actual clothing designers to make a limited edition GOOP collection. But it’s only available in the U.S., the clothes are neither affordable or adorable, and let me just go ahead and show you the clothes, all right?

There are only two items right now. The first is a pair of jeans:

To be fair, those look like some nice jeans. They’re $200 though. I guess that’s a reasonable price for a pair of fancy designer jeans, but I really don’t know, I’m a bargain shopper. The weird thing about the pants is that they’re available in sizes 24-32, which is really confusing to me. That has to be a waist measurement, right? It’s obviously not 24-32 in traditional women’s sizes, because I’m sure Gwyneth wouldn’t make pants solely for fatties. But in what world does sizing women’s pants by a waist measurement alone make sense? Did GOOP forget about hips?

Anyway, here’s the second item:

This is where it gets comical. That’s a white t-shirt with black piping on the shoulders and the sides. It is $90. Is this supposed to be a joke? Because I’m pretty sure I could grab one of my boyfriend’s old t-shirts and hot glue some ugly ass cord all over it and have a pretty similar looking shirt. Also, the shirt only comes in one size that “comfortably fits U.S. sizes 0-8.”

Basically, if you’re around Gwyneth Paltrow’s size, live in the U.S., and have about $300 to blow, this incredibly boring outfit could be all yours! Act now while supplies last! Or, you know, run down to the Goodwill and recreate this whole look for less than $10. Or find another outfit that’s actually cute. The choice is yours!

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I think 24 ~ 32 is the inches of the waist? They sell them like that in H&M Europe. So in US sizes it’d be size 4 to 12.

  • Has anyone seen her mother, Blythe Danner, in Huff? So good.

    Gwyneth won my respect when she played Sylvia Plath in what was the name of that movie???? With Daniel Craig.

    But this rich bitch side of her is kind of offensive. How can someone who can portray someone (Plath) with such depth and integrity be such a seemingly superficial whatsit?

    The lives of the rich and famous…. Different rules seem to apply. I play a depressive writer, so I get to be a diva-affluent beoch in real life.

  • How can she possibly claim to have “designed” those bare-bones completely predictable jeans? Celebrities.
    I guess Jessica Simpson does some actual designing, because even though all her stuff is completely heinous, it does have stuff glued on and tassles and whatnot. She put some ill-advised thought in.

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