Guys, did you know that Bryce Dallas Howard gave birth to her second child? Because she did. Four months ago, I’m hearing. Why did we not hear much about this? I’ve said in the past that BDH is one of my favorite Hollywood ladies (and not even because she’s Richie Cunningham’s daughter, and that’s a Happy Days reference for all of you who were born after, like, 1987), but because she’s so pure and sweet and talented.
Anyway, according to TMZ, this is the first time Bryce has been captured out in public with her baby since its birth, back in January, and I’m disappointed that we hadn’t really heard anything about this little baby or seen a real photo in all this time.
You slipped under the radar this time, girl, but you watch out—we’re going to be looking for you and that adorable little baby (Beatrice! How cute! Her name is Beatrice!) a little bit more vigilantly than we have in the past, friend.
Also, like I said, TMZ ran the initial photos of mom and Baby Beatrice, and I really thought that their titling of the post “It Takes a Village,” to be kind of … I don’t know, maybe rude. And the commenters over on TMZ have only further reinforced that fact as they’ve joined in on the discussion of Bryce’s body, and naturally, you can imagine that they have a lot of really f-cking wonderful* things to say, too. Like say, oh … this:
Damn! I think they left a baby in there.
Or this one:
DAMN!!! Most of these actress’ work to lose the load pretty fast. She seems to be playing “universe”. She’s ever expanding… Sorry Bryce, but you have cowed out, BIG TIME! Those thighs could feed a village of cannibals for a few weeks!
And then this:
1 word=LAXATIVES!!! STAT!!!
(That’s actually two words, you dumb shit.)
And then the crowning jewel; the pièce de résistance:
They forgot a triplet in each a$$ cheek. Get off your lazy behind and get your self in respectable shape. Disgusting
You know, it’s things like this that really make me fear for us as a society, all joking and snark aside. When the hell did we all become so physically perfect that we can belittle another person because of what they look like only months post-f-cking-partum?
*Sarcasm. Complete and utter sarcasm, guys.