Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Jennifer Aniston is Getting Married, Too

photo of jennifer aniston pictures photos pics
From TMZ:

Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend Justin Theroux are planning a wedding thousands of miles away from Hollywood … TMZ has learned.

Sources connected with the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete (where Aniston’s dad was born, located about 230 miles south of Greece) tell TMZ … Aniston was there recently, scoping the place out. Our sources say Aniston mentioned a July wedding.

Of course she’s getting married. And you know what? I bet that she and Justin were engaged months before Angelina and Brad were, and they just kept it under wraps because they’re very personal people who don’t feel the need to discuss their private lives, their previous relationships, or the best ways to be a Stage 5 Clinger keep the home fires alive.

And speaking of “home,” they’ve already plopped down twenty-one million dollars for a four-bedroom, seven-bathroom sitting atop three oceanfront acres of property that also happens to come with a vineyard. Do you know what twenty-one million would do for a nation of impoverished children? I mean, God. The least she could do is adopt two or three or six of them.

Anyway, the source is TMZ, which is pretty credible, and if the July date is real, then Brad and Angelina will definitely have no competition for Biggest Wedding Ever. But it’s not like there’s, you know, any kind of real competition anyway, guys. Come on now. This isn’t 2005 or whatever, you know.

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Who cares? Obviously, no man can stand her for a long time. This photo is so made-up! Any woman could look just as pretty as she is in this picture.

  • Well this song is for Mrs Jennifer Aniston,to warn ya about certain bustas punks and trailer trash wannabe canadian female-schmucks over on this coast,beware of dem Mrs Aniston if ya ever visit this so called country of toronto,and ma song for ya is called Be Careful and I wrote it to the instrumental of a song called Against All Odds and Against All Odds was originally sang by the right honourable Sir Tupac Shakur but I wrote ma own song for ya to it’s instrumental so this is ma song for ya sexy Mrs Aniston

    The song title:Be Careful

    The chorus dedicated to ya:

    Honay be careful,you wear a crown,so keep ya garments clean,honay,beware of those,ontario schmucks when they come around,they wanna,be starz,but they full a dirt,honay floss on those

    Verse 1:

    Some of um got rock bands some drink up on the Donlands,a bunch of folks,they strike a pose,but they’re floozies though,honey paint your toes,and ball on those,I like your shows,anyway,roll down your lovely,car windows,drop ya wrist & let your jewelry show,m……..k these whores,I play no games,cause you’re sexy girl,let me say I apologize,for some words I wrote,didn’t mean to stress ya,didn’t mean to pressure,you’re no lesser,plus girl you’re better,so ball on whores,apologizing,only to ya babe,do whatever makes you happy,roll,& floss on whores,wearing shell toes,paint your toes,eating dinner in your city,girl,be joyful more,be more happier,having fun shordy,do whatever makes you happy,roll,& floss on those