Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Let’s Watch Lindsay Lohan Try to Talk, Shall We?

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LOL at Lindsay not even being able to come up with an approximate amount of time that she’s been sober! What the hell is that, even? Did she honestly think that Matt Lauer wouldn’t ask that question? Please! Emily told you earlier this morning that Matt asked all sorts of personal, invasive questions, and yet the one – ONE! – that caught Lindsay off guard was “How long have you been sober”? That’s like going for your driver’s permit and not thinking that you’re going to be asked what to do at a damn stop sign.

This girl’s not “coming back,” like so many people are hoping. She’s not going to resurrect her career with this stupid SNL hosting gig, and she’s not going to win any Oscars with this Liz Taylor Lifetime movie role. Lindsay’s career is over, and at this point no matter how many years go by and how many appearances she does at random venues and radio shows, people are always and forever going to associate her with her drug and alcohol past, and you know what? That’s super sad to say about someone who’s only twenty-some years old. Girl’s got a lot of living to do yet, but no matter how she tries, she’s never going to outrun her past. Never. She’s no longer “Lindsay Lohan the Actress”, “Lindsay Lohan the Singer”, or even “Lindsay Lohan the Model”. She’s “Lindsay Lohan the Novelty Act”, and when the next big trainwreck comes along to take her place, she’s going to be dropped altogether. Nothing lasts forever, girl – not even being America’s Favorite Drug Addict.

Here’s a few of Lindsay’s promo commercials for her SNL appearance, all featuring Kenan Thompson.

Also, when Lindsay walked out during the promo with the cake plate full of whipped cream, I was really, really hoping it was going to be ‘cocaine’.

Oh, and sorry for three Lindsay posts today. That business is just uncalled for.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’m sorry but people who are actually in recovery know the exact amount of time they have been sober to the day. That alone gives her away, oh, and the bloat.

  • musical guest Jack White would have easily transitioned into a cocaine joke. and who the fuck does she think she’s talking to? as long as you’re bleached, bloated and barely able to finish a thought we know you’re lying lindz. sorry for my courtney stodden moment there.

  • If she went back to ginger she could do it. I think the ginger would be the sign of getting her act together.

  • She should dissapear in some kind of (Utah?)montains and study something from College or uni (just to get a real job in case of, not as Kate Gosselin), practise yoga, no drugs/alcohol and no Dina Lohan around, and come back like a normal person ten years later.
    THEN she could resurrect her career.

  • Actually the “bloat” is just in her face so it is more likely due to her cosmetic enhancements. Also, she probably won’t share the exact date she’s been sober since because that is special to her and none of our beeswax. I’m really sad about the plastic surgery or injections or whatever she’s done to her face. It makes young women look older when they do that. She is still funny and confident and will no doubt be entertaining but her face will be distracting…like Meg Ryan.