Years went by before I really understood the appeal of Kristen Bell. I don’t know! I didn’t watch Veronica Mars, OK? But every time she appears on Craig Ferguson’s show, I just kind of die. Take the pre-taped Parisian episode, for example: Kristen Bell is running around in a striped shirt and a beret. And then they all go to dinner with Jean Reno and it’s like whaaaaat.
Anyway, the story is this. Kristen Bell celebrated her 31st birthday last July. Dax Shepard surprised her by inviting a sloth—YES, A SLOTH—to the party. Kristen Bell loves sloths. Oh, my God.
So when Kristen Bell realized there was a sloth in the house, she could not function.
“I start to have a full-fledged panic attack,” she tells Ellen DeGeneres. “I don’t—I don’t know how to compete with all this emotion, so I just kind of crawl up on the bed, and I’m crying so hard.
“And Dax knocks on the door, and he has a video camera, and he’s like, ‘Surprise! I want you to come onto the—are you all right?!’—and sees me basically fetal on the bed.”
Yes. Yes, Kristen Bell brought the footage.
Skip to 2:03 if you want to see Kristen Bell bats—t hysterical. She has completely lost her mind.
It is really sweet, but also terrible. When she barely ekes out an “I’m so excited!” at Dax, it’s, like, lung-collapsingly funny.
“I mean, I needed to be sedated, clearly,” Bell sighs.