OK, so if you actually peer at this here photo instead of just glancing at it, like I want you to, you’ll get this one right away. It’s easy. It’s a total no-brainer. If you can read, you know who this “guess the celebrity” is, and if you can’t read? Well. What the hell are you doing here? You can’t read. Maybe it’s for the nipslip gallery, maybe it’s for the funny videos. I sure as hell don’t know. But if you’re not here for the scathing commentary, maybe you’re onto something, my friend, but I’m not really all that sure about what.
Anyway, the above photo depicts a very vain pseudo-celebrity who has themselves set on Google Alerts. What does that mean, you ask? It more or less means that they get pinged every time someone searches for them on Google. WOW, right? And who, you might ask, could possibly have that kind of time on their hands (I hear that the aftermath of abrupt divorce is pretty open for things to be scheduled) that they incessantly wonder what people on the ‘net are saying about them? You’ve got so many classy celebrities who claim that that don’t even read the crap that blogs and magazines peddle about them (yeah, right; they do), you’ve also got those who are so self-obsessed that they need to know (in real time, mind you) the garbage that faceless bitches, much like myself, on the internet are saying about them.
In a really bizarre kind of way, that makes me feel good. It does. It makes me feel validated in my quest to put every idiotic celebrity on blast who happens to make a dumb schmuck move, much like the one you’re looking at above. You want your Google Alert, friend? Here’s your Google Alert. Got damn.
Jump in for the full photo of the schmoe who can’t get enough of themselves.
Yeah, it’s totally Kim Kardashian. Surprised? No? Seriously. Who else would you expect it to be? Googling themselves so hard that they need to know what others are Googling them about? That’s low, baby. Real low. And right up girlfriend here’s alley. RIGHT up it. And by “alley,” I mean “gigantor ass.”