What a … a lovely foot, huh? It almost looks like the foot of your average, non-celebrity person, if your average, non-celebrity person weighed more than eighty-five pounds soaking wet. This here foot actually kind of reminds me of the dusty old skeleton that used to sit in the corner of my biology class in high school. I sat at a lab table next to that damned skeleton for my entire junior year, and instead of jiggling my foot whenever I’d get bored, I’d slide my shoe underneath the skeleton’s foot and jiggle its foot instead, and boy what a fun noise that made.
Needless to say, my biology teacher loathed me with a passion.
Anyway. This is a celeb’s latest tattoo, and the celeb in question is no stranger to the needle – the celebrity already has a few tattoos, but this one is, by far, the most … um. “Intriguing” would be the best way to describe it, I guess, if we weren’t trying to be flat-out insulting. The script clearly reads, “The only one that matters.”
Can you guess who that bony, sentimentally-tatted-up foot belongs to? Of course you can!
Oh hell, that one was easy. You’re right. It’s LeAnn Rimes.
Would you really expect much else? I mean, come on. “The only one that matters”? She said it came up in a conversation held between her and Squints this past week, so of course, the impetuous LeAnn “He Likes Me; He Really Likes Me!” Rimes had to go and get it permanently inscribed on her foot.
That is, of course, if Eddie was the one who told her that she was the only one who matters (coming from a guy with two kids, that’s nice. Real nice). Maybe it was a reversal, and LeAnn was squawking about how much she loves Eddie and how she hopes he never leaves her or cheats on her with another co-dependent twelve-year-old in a thirty-year-old’s body that’s also kind of horse-looking. Or it could be that maybe she was the one doing all that wishful thinking, and by etching the quote on her foot, constantly reminding Eddie of THE VOWS HE MADE IN FRONT OF GOD AND THE LAW, SON.
Or, the third and final option, she had an attack of self-worth and wanted to make sure she carried it with her wherever her feet took her. That a better explanation? Sure, it sounds more admirable, but I’m willing to be it’s one of the other two. And if that’s the case, damn, LeAnn. Just damn. Please don’t ever have kids, OK?