Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Did Steven Tyler Just Buy a House? And More Importantly, Is Steven Tyler Already Married?!

Photo: Steven Tyler and Erin Brady at a ritual officiated by Kahu Alalani Hill

Everyone is pretty sure Steven Tyler proposed to his girlfriend in Hawaii; new photos published by TMZ, however, have fanned the rumor that the couple is already married.

The photos show Tyler and longtime girlfriend Erin Brady involved in some sort of “house blessing” ritual, which, OK, these photos don’t really substantiate anything. Except…. Wait! Wait just one doggone minute! DID STEVEN TYLER BUY A HOUSE IN HAWAII?! I mean, he’s standing right there with some kahu (yes, as in the word “kahuna,” as in the gal in the hoop earrings and head-wreath), watching the pomaika’i take place.

More about “house blessing” ceremonies:

A traditional Hawaiian custom is the blessing of a new home or residence. New homes and newly acquired homes are blessed to bring peace, love, and harmony to the new family.

Hmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmm. So it isn’t unreasonable to speculate about this couple, then.

Neither is it unreasonable to guess that Erin Brady is already Tyler’s wife—after all, as I mentioned a couple days ago, Tyler’s family has been opposed to their union from the get-go. What’s more, a lot of Hawaiian priests are also able to officiate weddings. AND WHAT’S EVEN MORE, REVEREND ALALANI HILL—who, I have just determined, is the lady with the hoop earrings—specializes in MAUI BEACH WEDDINGS. Whoa, right?

Wow! Maybe this couple really is sneaking around Hawaii—buying houses, surreptitiously getting married, maybe adopting some dogs, getting IVF, the whole bit. Boy am I glad Steven Tyler isn’t vegetarian. After the blessing rituals, I bet he can take his bride to the nearest L&L for some (delicious!) spam musubi. Yum.