It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Katie Holmes photo: Whodathunkit
“Dear Diary, Sightseeing … the 50′ Gummi-Penis Monument. Wish I’d brought Suri.”
First runner-up: Crab
“OMG Tom got new lifts in his shoes!!”
Second runner-up: Rob
“When Tom and I have a conversation, this the way he stands.”
Congrats to Whodathunkit! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!
I know I can’t play, but I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for choosing this photo.
Smells like teen spirit!
I want to call an automatic winner.
Santa, when you said, “num, num, num”, I thought you meant your hands from the cold…
I hate it when they over-wrap my presents.
“North POLE DANCER. Rehearsing for her big, festive moment for the annual ‘Xxxmas Truck Stop Lunch Buffet Gala’.”
Oh yes, you have been a Naughty girl. I know one way to get you off the Naughty list…
Ew
“Hmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe this is where the batteries go……”
Santa, that’s not what I meant, when I said I have a cookie for you to eat !
Like, I don’t understand this whole thing about having a ‘beard’ !
Santa likes Mexico cus they leave out tacos and milk instead of cookies and milk.
Hmmm?? Still smells like baby powder…..
Scratch’n’sniff?
What????? It’s not real? It’s a merkin.
“Is this where that smell is coming from?! Ugh! I’ve been trying to find it for months!”
“Who needs a flask? This is where I stash my Christmas eggnog… it isn’t underage drinking if I fill her up from this end!”
“Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight!”
Ho, Ho, NOse! Merry Splits-mas!
smells like spring chicken…
Santa: “So Miss Courtney, why don’t you sit on Santas face and tell him what you said the first time you had sex, hohoho………” Courtney:”Daddy, are you suuuuure we should be doing this?”
Smells like you’re on the naughty list.
HO, HO, HO, Wait…I only said “HO” once…?
I’m not entering, but I wonder if her mother still thinks Doug is good for her. She must be so proud.
I’m also curious how this child reconciles behavior like this with her religion, whatever it is. We’ve all seen her wearing her modest Sunday best, making some sort of an effort. If she were to post this picture on her church bulletin board – “Have a Merry (and sexy) Christmas, Everyone! Hugs and Kisses, Courtney!” – I’m betting she’d be off sulking when the shit hits the fan because everyone’s “jealous” of the rill dill she’s got going on. She’s as grounded as Ms. Lohan and in desperate need of an intervention
I already drank my milk now where the hell is my COOKIES!!!
Ah now this looks like a great place to put a candy cane
This makes santas little helper very happy
Told u santa liked pie not cookies.
So thats dancer!
Ho Ho Ho won’t you ride my face tonite !!!
“I heard you wanted a stripper pole for Christmas, Courtney. Well We need all the poles we can get in the North pole so…..I’ve heard I make a swell pole myself….”
stole this idea from the Goodwife….
I told you to stay away from Rudolph, he’s too kinky!!
I want to make a wish. Pull the other leg!
Okay I could see if you allowed one elf to hide in here but all the elfs !!
Santa Singing, “Cookie, Cookie, Cookie, starts with C.”
I think I found Rudolph’s nose!
Num num num…
Santa Claus is GOING to town!!!
@whodathunkit, I think she reconciles her actions in that she is behaving this way with her husband, not someone she isn’t married to. Having said that, the whole relationship is gross. Just gross.
I hadn’t thought of that – you’re probably right.
She makes me cringe. We all make mistakes and most of us earn a serious regret or two. I’m thankful mine aren’t out there for the world to see. It’s amazing how short-sighted this girl is, perpetually antagonizing people. Sure, bad publicity is still publicity, but how far can she go on contempt…is that all the real talent she has? By the time she figures out who she really is apart from Doug, it will be extremely difficult to earn respect in any career. Wake up, C!
It’s a shame that the two people she is bound to trust the most are so twisted, in my opinion. Maybe she wouldn’t listen anyway.
But as you say, “…gross. Just gross.”
Santa, wait for the wine glasses!
I always wanted a scratch and sniff stripper.
looks like santa is cheating on Mrs.Claus ………..
With a hooker
“Unclench your box, Mona, my beard’s stuck!”
Santa sure loves his Linsay Lohan Cheese Dispenser. It’s like PEZ…but cheezier. Just push her face and lick her where she squirts.
Taste like chicken! No maybe fish? No definitely chicken!!!! I only wish I had some gravy ……
Much better than the usual cookies and milk.
I told you Courtney Not to Pole dance on the tree! Lucky I caught you!
HOW IS THIS LEGAL!??? WTF???
Everyone really is on crack these days…
Not where I keep the cookies!
You rock my jingle bell!
Ohhh, Santa………..this is sooo naughty, but it feels sooo nice!!! By the way, ahh what list am I on??? You know, I’m not just doing this for fun……………… but can I call you Saint Knickerless??
I love these mistletoe undies Mrs. Claus, it really gives you that HO HO HO!
Uh-oh! Santa’s eating at the Y again!
Hmmmm….. cat out of bag.
hell with bell, open the sssssshell