Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lieutenant Dan Got Some New Legs

photo of lindsay lohan new lips pictures photos pics
Or in Lindsay‘s case, new lips.

And aren’t they just amazing? Are they in honor of her recent Playboy shoot, which is confirmed to be a full-frontal and complete back view, too? They supposed to match her labia or something (can I say “labia”? Is that considered an OK word)? Because if that’s the case, I think she should have gone with a flat grey instead of bright, healthy pink. We all know what’s going on down there, let’s not pretend it’s something that it isn’t, alright?

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  • !!!This title! I was just thinking the other day that if I adopted a dog or cat that was crippled I would definitely name it Lieutenant Dan. Is that horrible?

      • I once had pot-bellied pigs, one was named Ham Steak & the other was named Lunch Meat!!! Btw, I think “labia” wasn’t the best choice….. When referencing a skank like Lindsay, I think the phrase “meat curtain” is more accurate…..