If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie procreating didn’t send Jennifer Aniston over the edge, you know this shit will. Yeah, I know that Jen never had an actual romantic relationship with David Schwimmer, but come on. This is so something that Jennifer would privately bellyache about, even if she had no prior claim to him. Why? I don’t know. It’s just what she does. Please don’t ask me to fathom the brittle mind of a spurned rom-com addict like Jennifer Aniston. I just can’t go there today. It’s too close to the holidays.
This, by the way, was Jen’s response to her old friend’s good news:
So yeah. Congratulations to David and Zoe; your child will be adorable. As long as it looks just like mom.