I know you guys have been really curious about what Mike Tyson has been doing with his life. I know you read articles on this site and think “Yeah, that Lindsay Lohan is great and all, but what’s Mike been up to?” Well, consider this your lucky day, because I’m here to let you in on the latest development: birds.
Pigeons, to be exact. To be even more exact, 2,500 pigeons. Mike Tyson owns 2,500 pigeons. He says that he has “birds everywhere that I go,” and that he has them “at different homes that I live and hang out at.” There’s even going to be a documentary about his pets, set to be aired next year. And I think that is just bananas.
I’m not trying to come down on birds, but I hate birds. I’m not saying that they should be systematically eradicated from the earth, I’m just saying that they make shitty pets. They just make noise and peck at you and scratch you and get caught in your hair, and even though you know that the bird is way more freaked out than you, you can’t help but to flail and scream because there is a creature tangled up on your head. And have you ever tried to pet a bird? So unsatisfying.
The point is this: Mike Tyson has officially gone crazy. I mean, I know that he’s always been crazy, but 2,500 birds is a new level. That is Heidi Fleiss crazy, and that is not a place where you want to be.