Got a Tip? Help us Beet Off!




6Crazy with a Side of Extra Crazy

Heidi Fleiss Loves Laundry

People who know me know that I very seldom take an interest in
1) Former prostitution ring runners
2) Laundry, or the opening of Laundry Mats.

However, when the two come together you can just look out.

LAS VEGAS (AP) — Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss is diversifying, (opening a laundry mat called) Dirty Laundry in Nevada. Dirty Laundry is a 24-hour, coin-operated laundry — 13 washers and 14 dryers — the one-time leader of a high-priced ring of call girls to the stars is opening at a shopping center in Pahrump, west of Las Vegas.

I have nothing but questions going forward. First off, why are all laundry mats coin operated? Are people without their own washer or dryer that much more likely to only have access to rolled quarters? Where are all the debit operated laundry mats? Also, why the one extra dryer? Do people just come in and want something dried? Or are washers 14/13th the size of dryers? Can this story get any better? (That’s a trick question because I know the answer.. which is yes.)

Also, Pahrump is a funny word. Pahrump. Pahrump.

Fleiss, who has become an avid collector of parrots and macaws since moving to Pahrump, said she decided to open the laundromat after the death of one of her pets, a macaw named Dalton.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Okay…. WHAT?? Dalton dying equals a laundry mat? Would a dog dying mean Fleiss was going to tackle Chinese takeout? I’ve also heard anecdotally that Macaws live forever, like longer than humans, so is there in chance that this parrot was…..(insert sinister music) MURDERED?

And not to be a jerk but I would have named the place “Dalton’s House o’ Murdered Macaws.” I think he would have liked that somehow.

Fleiss moved to Nye County in late 2005, after serving a jail term for running the prostitution ring, and announced plans to open “Heidi’s Stud Farm” in the town of Crystal, about 20 miles north of Pahrump. The 20-man operation would be Nevada’s first legal bordello catering exclusively to female customers.

Ah yes, the old “stud farm” concept. Who hasn’t thought of opening one of those? You get 20 guys willing to throw their meat around and the ladies line up around the block. The only question is where Charlie Sheen fits in to all of this.

Crikey, I forgot to mention the photo. That’s Heidi Fleiss dressed as some sort of Marmot. Enjoy!

July 1, 2007 at 4:17 pm by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Heidi Fleiss

6 Responses to “Crazy with a Side of Extra Crazy”

  1. Clementines says:

    haha., bottom of the barrel life for her now.

  2. LAMO! says:

    She’s such a furvert.

  3. Vermillion says:

    If I didn’t know any better, I would swear this story was written by your hypothetical Spammer.

    I am now working on a disertation that will indeed prove that dead macaw = laundry mat. I believe this will bring us one step closer to the Unified Field Theory.

  4. Jimmy Earle says:

    Heidi,
    You have a beautiful mouth..I bet you can suck a mean dick!

    Jimmy Earle

  5. kat says:

    Can you say, “skank”?

  6. Emily says:

    Jesus… It’s a LAUNDROMAT. Not a laundry mat. That’s embarrassing.

Leave a Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.