Just when you thought it was safe to head out to the clubs in Seaside Heights (ha, from someone who was born and raised a mere three hours from the resort made famous by the Jersey Shore twats, I gotta ask: who does that – really), think again: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
The Situation, who’s fame kind of exploded this year with vitamin endorsements, home gym videos, and most recently, his brief appearance on this season’s Dancing With the Stars, has another few minutes left on his
fifteen sixty ninety thanks to GQ, as he’s one of their choices for ‘Men of the Year 2010.’ Thanks for that, GQ, it’s like an early fucking Christmas.
Here’s The Sitch on how he always wanted to be famous:
“I always had dreams, my whole life, of being somebody special. Someone out in the world that everybody knew of and everybody liked. Somebody unique. Even when I was down on my luck, in my head I still had those dreams. Sometimes in people’s lives, when bad stuff happens, their dreams just die, and they end up settling. I guess that’s their decision, maybe, because they didn’t believe in their dreams or forgot their dreams. My dreams never died.”
And on putting his ‘dreams’ into action by stripping for a stint during the recession, pre-Shore-style, and what he wore for the job:
“… Like, a red-white-and-blue thong and maybe, like, an Uncle Sam hat. I didn’t mind the attention from pretty girls. But then if I got attention from unattractive girls, it just felt kind of cheap.”
On how coming from nothing and going to … something (what, I haven’t figured out) hasn’t changed him a bit:
“I used to pay $10 to get in. Now I get $10,000 to come. It’s funny how quick it goes from ‘Five grand, that’s so sick’ to that being shit money. Five grand’s shitty money now. It’s like, ‘Seriously?'”
On looking real appealing to women who might want to sleep with him – for some reason or another – in the future:
“Well, if you saw the [season-one reunion] special, I hooked up with, like, forty girls that summer. But it’s not easy or comfortable, knowing that people are watching you have sex. Even though you’re under the covers—it’s still uncomfortable. And it’s uncomfortable for the girl. You have to be so on point with your game to even get with a girl on-camera, let alone have sex.”
Yup. Totally sounds like the guy you want to take home to meet Ma. Or, you know, if you’re a normal human being with an average amount of self-respect, the guy that you actually wouldn’t want to take home to meet your front lawn.