Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Not Only is Jessica Alba Miserable, She Thinks That She’s a Heifer, Too

The Jessica Alba (you know, the gorgeous one) who’s posing half-naked for GQ Britain for its October 2010 edition has a mouthful to say about her post-baby body (note: Alba’s daughter, Honor Marie, came into the world over two-and-a-half years ago) and how she positively pales in comparison to the beauty of other actresses:

“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger… every actress out there is more beautiful than me.”

As if that weren’t bad enough, she continues her self-destructive diatribe by saying that she’s never felt ‘comfortable’ exhibiting her sexiness either:

“I’ve never been comfortable showing my body off. I used to have anxiety attacks before shoots. I’ll never do a nude scene. I can act sexy and wear sexy clothes but can’t go naked.”

Um, OK.  It’s kind of like that old saying, oh, what was it … Yeah, ‘I don’t even want to fucking hear this shit.’  That’s right.  The only thing more painful than listening to this kind of garbage (’cause girl is the hotness) is watching the laughable facial contortions displayed on screen in the made-for-GQ look-how-hot-our-cover-girl is video. Based on those, who knows … Maybe she really is that uncomfortable with her sexiness.

I guess my surprise may know no bounds.

You can catch the full interview on newsstands October 7th. I’m sure you’ll just be dying in suspense, waiting with bated breath ’til then.