Today's Evil Beet Gossip

A Little Bit Of Me Died Today

I just found out that Orlando Bloom finally caved and married that beast Miranda Kerr. I mean, it doesn’t exactly surprise me; they got engaged last month, so it was maybe a little bit inevitable, but I’m briefly saddened nonetheless.

The first time I saw Bloom grace the silver screen was in Elizabethtown (yeah, I’m not such a Lord of the Rings fan) with Kirsten Dunst, and I was smitten since.

Congratulations on marrying one of the most beautiful women on the planet, Orlando — I could expect nothing less from you, and I’m wishing you guys all the happiness in the world, so, whatever.

These two crazy kids are out celebrating their marriage, on their honeymoon, and probably having lots and lots of hot sex. And for that? I am jealous. But I got mine — that picture above? Hottest. thing. ever.

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