Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Let’s Take A Closer Look At The Twihards

A photo of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner

It’s always a good time to poke fun at those crazy Twilight fans, but now I might feel halfway bad about it.  There’s an interesting article in the L.A. Times titled “When Twilight fandom becomes an addiction,” and it documents some tales of these addicts.

There’s a 31-year-old accountant who says that she became so obsessed with the books and the movies that she “couldn’t function.” Then there’s a 39-year-old mom who claims to have watched the movies over 300 times each, and she mentions that her six-year-old son resents her obsession.  There’s also a 50-year-old woman who said that

“If there is a chemical that’s released when you’re falling in love, your brain has it when you’re reading or watching Twilight. You get that utopic feeling of first love and you want to experience it over and over again.”

She goes on to discuss how Twilight almost destroyed her marriage:

“My husband finally came to me and said, ‘I think you love Twilight more than you love me.’ I ended up moving out of the house and fought for my marriage for six weeks. I had to take a step back and detox myself from Twilight. I was really angry that I had allowed it to suck me in.”

The article says that the woman went “cold turkey” and was able to stop her obsession.  There are also statements from a professor of communication studies and a psychologist that call these kinds of stories examples of classic addiction.

This kind of behavior blows my mind.  Sure, I’ve read the Twilight books (I’ve even plotted out porn films based on them:  Twatlight, New Poon, Eclits, and Breaking Hymen, keep your eye out for those), but I wouldn’t say they caused me to feel that “utopic feeling of first love.”  Even Harry Potter, which I was much more obsessed with, and my one true love of all time, David Bowie, never got close to threatening any of my relationships.

Here’s hoping no one gets divorced over Eclipse, I guess.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Twilight SUCKS and has NO literary merit. It's a shame that people can become so obsessed with this sappy harlequin romance and miss out on the true beauty that exists in our literary world. Where are the stories of 31 year old accounts being unable to function because they just read all of William Wordsworth's poetry? They are non-existent because our society praises this manure and doesn't even teach children how to understand, interpret, and appreciate real literature and poetry. I am embarrassed, truly embarrassed.

  • Emily! I already came up with 2 of those same porn names, but mine were Twinklight, New Poon, Eclits, and Breaking Dong! Too funny.

  • I skimmed through a few pages of one (don' remember which) of the books. Every second sentence seemed to be about “Edward” and how super-beautiful he was…Maybe they woud be more interesting to me if Bella was a psychopathic serial killer who kidnaps and abducts this guy she obsesses about, you wouldn't need vampires for that, and it would just be more realistic. Or it should just be a Porno. Twatlight…

  • this just shows how desperate women have become for some romance, even a shitty greasy shirtless one with non expression face girls, and fat chicks screaming about it…