Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian to Be the Latest Tomb Raider?

photo of reality tv star kim kardashian signing photographs

A source at the Global Grinder spoke out earlier this week to acknowledge rumors that Kim Kardashian is the latest celebrity vying for the part of Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider series. The source states:

“Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara, which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.”

Whoa. 3-D Kim Kardashian tits and booty? I’m not sure the world is quite ready for something as amazing as that … it’d be like looking then sun in its face, or talking one-on-one with whoever your maker is. Retinas would be burned out by the sheer magnitude of such ostentation, third-world countries would crumble, and the governments of mega-magnate nations would founder.

And you. Are you ready to see such amazing sights at such an early juncture in your mere mortal life?

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Or maybe she’ll have another porn flick come out when Reggie Bush’s career is over and he’s blown thru all his money.

    Who the hell believe’s she has any legitimate talent whatsoever?

  • SO THE NEXT TOMB RAIDER IS A COMEDY? I’M LAUGHING ALREADY! THIS IS ONE THE STUPIDEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD, WHAT DO THEY WANT TO DO KILL THE FRANCHISE? KIM CANT ACT! PERIOD….

    • Main Entry: os·ten·ta·tion
      Pronunciation: \?äs-t?n-?t?-sh?n\
      Function: noun
      Etymology: Middle English ostentacion, from Middle French, from Latin ostentation-, ostentatio, from ostentare to display, frequentative of ostendere
      Date: 15th century
      1 : excessive display : pretentiousness

  • I would fucking love it.
    I think she’s so gorgeous and I mean in the games all Lara is is tits, arse and those grunting noises she makes when landing on things/pulling herself on to things.

  • She’s so sloth-like, dumb, self-promoting and boring.. four sentences in the movie script dialogue would take three days to film.. never mind action and acting while speaking too.
    Aside to director while crew and actors wait; “Uh, like the sun is in my eyes, and everyone wants me not to squint, as I have large large lovely eyes and does this call for me to hold or be in the shot with any ad item because I want in cut in that.. and if I move my head left, my semi bad side, my expensive earring also will not show, and I get to keep it if they both are prominently displayed for a certain time, you know?”

  • Kim Kardashian boobs and booty? I'm not sure that the world is ready for something so completely unbelievable as … It would be as a player then the sun in front of it, or talking about one on-one with you who the manufacturer. Eyes should be burned, simply alleged that the size, the third country in the whole world would collapse, governments and mega-mogul United Nations Charter.
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