Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, You Will Absolutely Die Of Shock When I Tell You Who Everyone Says Has a Small Dick

Could it be true? Could it even be possible that the hunky chunk of man that I lust after all day could possibly have a small package? Sure, sure. Everyone who’s ever slept with him has made claims recently that he’s working with some lackluster man meat, but the pure sexuality that he radiates tells my heart otherwise.

First it was just his ex Hailey Glassman who described his junk to Stepping Out Magazine as “tiny, tiny, tiny.” She said they would often discuss his tiny manhood explaining, “He said, ‘You know how subconscious [sic] I am of down there. I would tell him to his face, ‘I don’t think you would cheat on me because you’re so small.'”

I can’t imagine why a handsome man like Jon would deal with these abusive women, but apparently this is something he’s used to. Another source has spoken to Stepping Out and they said that his original abuser, ex-wife Kate, was much harsher on him and referred to his penis as “Stubby.” Like, that was the nickname she gave it.

These reports sound pretty convincing, but I’m going to have to keep my faith in Jon intact. I mean, how else do you explain all that hot young tail he’s able to reel in?

21 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I have never watched Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I first read of them on this website late last spring.

    That said, this article only makes me like Kate Gosselin even more. I admire a woman who knows how to keep her husband in his place.

    • Simon, I love you a little.

      I think though, with all the crazy shit that happened on that show (which I didn’t watch, but my sisters did) that probably, both of them said shit like that to each other all the time.

    • This just makes me despise Kate even more. For Kate to make comments about his small peen just shows that she’s an even bigger idiot than he is. If it was such a big deal to her, why the hell did she ever sleep with him again after she realized he’s not endowed to her satisfaction? Just another loser woman trying to bring down her husband.

  • “He said, ‘You know how subconscious [sic] I am of down there. ” Subconscious? You mean SELF-CONSCIOUS! Although maybe subconscious works too because he’s making all his decisions with the little (ahem) head instead of the fat one on his neck.

  • It’s too bad that he didn’t get enlargement surgery for free from TLC when he still was on good terms with them.

    I’m surprised that Kate didn’t demand it, but I guess that televised segment might have been too embarrassing even for the woman who like show her children sitting on their potties and then have professional photographers display their cute little feces to the whole United States.

  • Hey, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. He caused the wreckage of that Kate chick. Maybe not first hand, but it got done.

  • If Jon Gosselin was so ineptly endowed then why did Kate Gosselin salivate after him for ten years? And didn’t Hailey Glassman carry on an affair with him before his divorce was finalized? Such sour grapes from two women who won’t go away!
    Kate’s over priced hair extensions are pulling at her brain. This is the father of her children. All he did was pull the plug on Kate constantly breaking child labor laws, and NOT spending seven thousand dollars on hairstyles.
    And as for Hailey No-Classman, your fifteen minutes are up.

    • I agree about the Hailey Glassman thing, but Kate didn’t actually say that. Well, she might’ve, but it’s another source who says that she said that. She didn’t offically say anything about his penis on the record.

  • Samll dicks are b-o-r-i-n-g.
    Maybe women are after him for his 15 minutes of fame. But I gaurantee you in the bedroom, they wouldn’t be impressed.
    Little penis, little sensation for a woman. Her migt be good with his fingers or his tongue and that still is no substitute for the orgasm a nice fat 6″

  • Samll dicks are b-o-r-i-n-g.

    Maybe women are after him for his 15 minutes of fame. But I gaurantee you in the bedroom, they wouldn’t be impressed.

    Having a little penis means there will be little sensation for a woman.

    He might be good with his fingers or his tongue – and that still is no substitute for the orgasm a nice fat 6″ dick can give a woman.

  • 6 in? Is that average because that would mean my husband is uhm…well above average.

    If Jon is packing a vienna sauage then that’s hilarious. If not, if they’re only saying that humilate a man who I thought couldnt be humilated anymore and look like a bigger shitbag then well…thats a lot blow. no pun intented.

    • “thats a lot (SIC) blow. no pun intented (SIC).” Swing and a miss, kt.

      Hate to get all Grammar Nazi on you, but wanted to get your attention. If your man is well about average, you better be Kegeling, cooking and cleaning like a MF, or he’s out seeking greener vag. I’m trying to help here.

  • Shame on her! Obviously it didn’t matter to her (whether true or not) before she sh*t out 8 kids and now it’s an issue?? Why?? Cuz she knows he doesn’t want her nasty ass anymore and replaced her with someone a lot LESS bitchy! Good luck Kate. Doesn’t matter what you look like…you’re still an ugly biotch!