I don’t know that there are really words to express my disdain for Michael Lohan. It hurts me to write about him; it hurts me to think about him. If I had to play a game of Fuck Marry Kill with Michael Lohan, Joe Francis and Brandon Davis, I think I’d choose to kill myself instead. He’s like the most evil thing on the planet, and, like I always say, it’s a goddamn miracle Lindsay Lohan turned out so well with him as a parent.
That said, someone finally got it right and threw him in jail on Monday because he tried to make a phone call to his ex-girlfriend, Erin Mueller, who has a restraining order out against him. Let me get this straight: The authorities can arrest this slimeball for making a phone call, but no one can do anything about the fact that he recorded super-private conversations with his daughter and then sold them to Radar?
The terrible news is that he was released several hours later. WHY GOD WHY??? I can’t wait until he assaults someone with a shoe again and we can be rid of this asshole for another few years. If the recipient of the shoe assault could be Jon Gosselin, I will personally show up in court to offer my thanks to God and all that is holy in gossip.