Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dane Cook is Absolutely High

Dane Cook is a moron. He is an unfunny, clueless, meathead. Let me just get that out of the way.

In an interview with MTV, Dane Cook says that something he’d like to do is play The Joker or The Riddler in a Batman movie, were they ever to bring those two characters back. Yes, the parts played by geniuses like Heath Ledger and Jim Carey.

Dane Cook legitimately has no idea that he’s never going to be anything more than what he is. His movies suck, his stand up hasn’t been funny to anyone over the age of 18 in a long-ass time and his once “good looks” have now deteriorated with age to the point where he just looks like your friend’s weird “young” uncle who was always hanging around the house when you went over to play.

If I was his publicist, I would have ran over to him and shoved a sock in his mouth the second he started talking about Batman movies. He will never make a Batman movie. Alicia Silverstone was probably the least-worthy person ever in a Batman movie and I love Alicia Silverstone. Dane Cook can maybe work the craft services table on a Batman movie. Maybe. On the luckiest day of his life.

20 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “he just looks like your friend’s weird “young” uncle who was always hanging around the house when you went over to play.”

    That is totally who Dane Cook is.

    • omg I had that friend with the uncle too! And that is def Dane Cook! He’s just LOOKS like he’s an inappropriate toucher.

  • While i have to say that his stand up lately has left me a little weirded out (I don’t really agree with joking about suicide) I think his comedy is actually hilarious. Maybe not the movies, but I doubt he has a ton of control over the content in those. He basically makes fun of people, and makes me realize that I take things WAY too seriously most of the time. I’m usually cracking up and yelling “I totally do that!” (See the crying bit in vicious circle.)

    But I’ve learned that people either love or hate Dane Cook. And molls, you obviously hate him. The tone of that post was one of pure, unadulterated hatred. That’s fine. I’ve put up with it for a while now from some of my friends and don’t really care that people hate him, since I, and those of my friends who DO like him, get to laugh either way.

    And he does pretty good characters, he might do well in a TV joker character at least. Go Dane.

    • Agreed. I mean, wow Molls…how does it become so personal when you don’t even know him?

      I hope he gets a role just to smite you. lol

  • Dane Cook hosted SNL a while back and he was hysterical. Movies suck, his stand up isn’t funny anymore. So he should become a regular on SNL where his stuff is scripted by somebody else.

  • molls…i am no lover of dane cook… most of your commentary is spot on…but you might want to watch that video again… he said he was a fan of the new dark knight batman movies and would want to play the riddler… if they were to bring him back like they did with the joker and said that what heath ledger did with the joker was the greatest comic book villain ever… there is no need to make him sound like more of an ass… he does a good job himself by saying heath ledger’s performance would be “tough to beat” as if he was even in the same category.

  • I like Dane Cook. I think he’s very funny and has great stage presence. He is also a great actor, although I don’t think he could handle serious drama.

  • whether he is funny or not, this post means absolutely nothing as it comes from the least humorous, witty, and original blogger on here!

  • The thing about Dane Cook is this; people love or hate him. The people who love him support him and his popularity grows. The people who Hate him however, I mean really despise him as molls does, they do an even better job at promoting his work. Why do the DC haters make such a noise over this comedian? It reminds me of something I would hear as a child: You can’t truly hate something unless you have loved it. Why does Dane fall into an absolute, more so than any other comic? It is perplexing.

  • WATCH THE SHIT first and listen before making a judgement…but i guess in your line of work you are JADED…as the rest of this crap.