One week after Melissa Joan Hart appeared on the cover of People magazine to show off her new slimmer body, she slaps every other dieting mother in America right in the face by opening a new candy store, named SweetHarts, in Sherman Oaks, California.
The store’s website reveals that the menu will include frozen yogurt, gelato, baked goods, candy, and a whole host of other items guaranteed to derail a diet. It also reveals that Melissa’s mother originally considered naming her “Sweet.” That’s right. Her name was almost Sweet Hart.
If that right there doesn’t make you want to smack the annoying right out of the little witch, the Sabrina star claims to “love all the different [kinds of] candy” because they remind her of her childhood, but then goes on to say that she isn’t worried about regaining any of her recently lost weight by consuming any of the products from her own shop because she doesn’t really like sweets.
Do they offer something called a candy coated bitch slap? Cuz I’d buy one of those.
I haven’t read the People magazine article about her weightloss because there are only so many worthless, time wasting activities I can do in a week without starting to feel really bad about my life. But the cover quotes her as saying “I realized I don’t have to be heavy just because I have kids.”
Bitch please. You “don’t have to be heavy” because you’re rich and can hire a personal trainer, someone to cook meals for you, and someone to watch those kids for you while you work out or open your new candy store.
Next week, Paris Hilton will announce the grand opening of her financial planning service, the appropriately named “I Don’t Have Any Debt Because I’m Fucking Rich.” The service’s financial advisors will offer you high interest rate mortgages and credit cards, encourage you to spend well beyond your budget, then act superior and self-righteous when you can’t make your monthly payments.
35 CommentsLeave a comment
personally, i think its really cute.
i agree! good business, i say.
i don’t get it. so why is she annoying? she lost weight. good for her. she opened up a new business that was tied to her name. ok, acceptable. it seems hypocritical, but it’s not enough to be thaaat annoying, especially the way you put it.
you want to write about someone annoying, do it to that transformer megan fox. the media itself is hypocritical because celebrities always seem to get butchered for getting work done. hello. have you seen this girl? lips, nose, boobs, and quite possibly something else that just changed her face. look at pictures of this girl back in ’04. terrible. her incentive is to come off as casually intelligent by not using big words like scar jo, but in reality–well she’s not intelligent. she tries to come off as sexy by trying to be coy about it, but really, she can’t even make it on the cover off vogue. bitch ain’t classy enough. bottom line is she really has become vain, which is sad, because she paid for her vanity. i think if you’re gonna be vain, at least be natural. angelina jolie comes to mind.
i got carried away. oops.
why is opening a candy store hypocritical? did she ever say that she hated candy or something? i think she is saying hey i can lose weight and eat candy (in moderation) too! i think it’s great
no, i agree with everything in your comment! wrong word. not hypocritical. i’m too lazy to re-enter my comment. please mentally replace “hypocritical” with “coincidental”. as in good business and cute coincidence that she was almost sweet hart, and she has a candy store, ok i’m done commenting for the daymaybeeeeeeeeee.
cool. she is making money and seizing opprotunties. sooo annoying. hmm.
sounds like someone is HATIN’!!!! LOL i think it’s cute! and the name is precious! i would shop there if i lived anywhere close by. WAH
I AM totally hatin, I’ll admit. I have an unwarranted dislike for Sweet Hart. But I still think the whole “I don’t have to be heavy just because I have kids” comment is reeeeeeeeeally annoying.
But you DON”T have to be heavy just because you have kids. Why is it annoying?
Kelly, I don’t mean to offend you or anything, and I never come on here just to attack (as some seem to do), but I’m finding your posts over-the-top snide and pretty long-winded. You’re talented and funny, otherwise you wouldn’t have been hired, but this level of cattiness and what seems like all-out-hatred for some of the celebrities you comment on is just irritating and kind of insulting to the reader–we can make up our own minds, can’t we? Why force feed us your opinions? Why do you even HAVE such strong opinions about everyone?!? If journalism is your trade, why don’t you understand the -art- of expressing your opinion, insinuating, revealing….without stuffing it down our throats?
Tell me, why exactly can’t Melissa Joan Hart, an actress out of work and with children, open a candy store for the same basic reason anyone opens a store: money? What exactly is wrong with Fergie’s kneecaps?? That one was completely lost on me. What is your point when, in the same paragraph, you criticize the amount of inappropriate attention placed on Susan Boyle’s ass instead of her talent and then you feel the need to comment on her “Dress Barn” gown? Are you so privileged that you have the knees of a 12 year old, or that you can’t even relate to the fact that dressing an older, slightly overweight woman is not so easy? I’m open to the fact that this might not be true, but to outside eyes…you just come off as kind of jealous and/or like a bully. Just saying.
Let’s keep celebrity gossip reporting how it’s supposed to be: lighthearted, snarky when appropriate, and most of all, not about YOU!
I hope you find my criticism constructive because that was my intention–I’m sure you’re better than just bitching, I’m sure Beet hired you because there’s more going on up there. I thought maybe you’d like to know, not because I’m the authority on these matters or anything, but because I am a reader, and at the end of the day…you work for us. No “us” no paycheck.
thanks for writing that, e. i feel the same way!
um. holy crap.
well, since apparently you work for me (and everyone else) I say KUDOS KELLY! I thought this was hilarious. I, too, think it’s funny that someone who apparently doesn’t even like sweets would open a candy shop. and the last paragraph, especially, was wonderful.
If you want journalism, everyone, you are looking at the wrong place. snarky ass gossip tho? here ya go!
I understand what Kelly is saying. I mean, maybe it’s just horrible timing that her magazine cover of being able to lose weight and then her opening of a CANDY and BAKED GOODS store all happened right around the same time. I think she was supposed to be inspiring to moms that they can do it too – not supplying them with more excuses to gain weight.
And for those up top talking about hypocrisy: she did say in the article that she loved candy because they remind her of her childhood – and then went on to say her diet won’t be derailed because she DOESN’T really like sweets. She said that in the same article. She really should have opened a low-fat or sugar-free candy store to go alongside her magazine cover! That would have made waaaaay more sense!
um, i love kelly.
i think she is HI-larious
Mate, if you want objective journalism go read CNN or any other news channel. This is a gossip blog, writers are going to have their opinions and share them with the audience because that is what all this is about! Also, I found what she wrote really funny. Oh and she isn’t going to change my opinion on Melissa Joan Hart only because she doesn’t like her, do not suffer for my opinions – I think I can think for myself.
Agreed. Plus, I don’t like the whole “bitch” thing. The whole trend of calling women “bitches” for reasons other than that they ARE bitches, was started by rappers. I think we can all agree that rappers are possibly the most woman-hating people in the world, so maybe we can stop pandering to them by disrespecting other women in the same way.
It’s tacky. It’s very Perez Hilton. Or Eminem.
“Bitch please. You “don’t have to be heavy” because you’re rich and can hire a personal trainer, someone to cook meals for you, and someone to watch those kids for you while you work out or open your new candy store.”
Amen sister! *high five*
um , u dont have to be rich to not be fat.its called ” not stuffing your face with KFC 24/7″ n it will actually help u save money.
right?! my thoughts exactly!!!! hate the people who “work” but somehow have all this time. maybe its because they have personal trainers, chefs, and nannies. i want me some of those too, i need to lose a little weight….
Oh Kelly you crack me up. I love ya. High five!!
What a fame mongering whorebag. Why can’t people lose weight gracefully anymore?
Wow, thanks for the support guys! It brings a crocodile tear to my jaded eye.
I’m well aware of the fact that I often come across as a total bitch to some people. But other people find what I say funny. I guess it all depends on what your sense of humor is like.
While I appreciate the (perhaps well-meaning) feedback, I’m also well aware of the fact that I can’t please everyone all of the time. If I changed my writing style to make “e” happy, other people would be disappointed and bored.
So feel free to continue to express your opinions, but please remember that someone else might be laughing at what you find offensive or off-putting.
I have to agree – none of the writers are going to please everyone. And I’ve read similar comments about Wendie and Sasha. But then if someone posts something positive about someone, a bunch of people will be all, “why do you like her so much? I hate her!”
And I’ve found that there is more hate in the comments on this site than in the posts. I’ve often found myself wondering why there is so much animosity towards various people. I’m not saying I’m not guilty of it — I’ve spewed some negativity.
I love you Kelly
Absolutely love your bitchiness. Thats why i come here.
Hart is annoying, always have
Next week, Paris Hilton will announce the grand opening of her financial planning service, the appropriately named “I Don’t Have Any Debt Because I’m Fucking Rich.”
don’t worry about the seet hart @ e
Yea, but you don’t have to be bitchy about EVERY SINGLE celebrity you write about.
Bashing on Melissa Joan Hart….really? I can understand with Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton but this girl (sorry she will always be a teenage witch to me :D) has done nothing to warrant the criticism.
hahaa, good writing Kelly! Love it!
I just realized that Mayor Villaraigosa is cutting the sash. That is him, right? How the hell do you get the Mayor of LA to a candy store opening?
That was intriguing . I admire your finesse that you put into your writing . Please do move forward with more similar to this.
My viewpoint is based around my assumption that nobody has a mind respecting.
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I can’t seem to stomach MJH for reasons that I can’t really even pin point, but neither do I like all the over kill on a desperate attempt to pin point that ……ugh thing!