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Insert obligatory joke about his oldness and her weight.
There are times when you think someone famous has died. Then they show up on some late night talk show and turn your entire worldview on its head with their disturbing refusal to die. I’m not naming names, but Martin Landau, I’m lookin at you. Or rather, kind of in your direction and to the side of you because your face is scary.
And then there are times when a celebrity couple announces their engagement and you say, “I thought they were already married. For like, six years now.”
And that’s exactly what I said when I read the official announcement that Harrison Ford popped the question to girlfriend of 7 years Calista Flockhart over Valentine’s Day weekend. Congratulations. Everyone already thought you were married.
Next week I’ll be announcing that I’ve been born.
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30 Responses to “Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart Are Engaged”
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Too funny. As soon as I read the headline to my husband, he said “I thought they were already married.” You are one funny lady. Welcome aboard! and Happy Birthday ;-)
Hahahaha… fo realz.
Kelly, I heart you :)
“Martin Landau, I’m lookin at you. Or rather, kind of in your direction and to the side of you because your face is scary”.
Best. comment. ever. LMAO
haha i love the last comment. priceless.
Girl, you are funny! I had to read this one out loud to my husband.
Lol. I thought they were already married too!! :D Welcome aboard Kelly! :)
Kelly,
I can not tell you how fierce you are, there are no words. I HATED Soleil and I stopped reading EB on the weekends because she was so gawd awful. You are friggin’ hilarious and I am so happy to return to EB on the weekends now that you’re here.
I’ve been reading this site from its early days because Sasha is such a fierce talent. Then Wendie came along and she sounds like Sasha A LOT and they both compliment each other very well. You fit right in with the original snark and wit that has kept me reading this blog for so long. Thank you for your amazingness.
Also, if Sasha’s reading this, one of my friends told me that she reads this blog everyday after work to relieve her stress!!!!!!! I was like OMG. Everyone is reading EB.
Sorry for the lengthy comment, but I’m just trying to convey how talented you are. And I speak for everyone on EB, because that’s the kind of narcissist that I am, when I say that you are great, Kelly. We luvs you!
Its sad to see that some people cant be nice and give other people compliments withour pushing someone else down in their boots.
There is no need for words like HATE and awful. Soleil is a person to. She has feelings. Im sure she never ever did anything for you to hate her. I dont even think you know the meaning of the word if you use it about a complete stranger whom you have never meet.
You do not in anyway speak for me. I dont go around the internet making people feeling shitty about themself.
I welcome Kelly and Im also saying goodbye to Soleil, I liked you to girl, keep it up!
EB readers, always correcting others, so opinionated. Oh, and I HATE you, kattis. Heh. Do you even care? I’m glad that you’re speaking up for Soleil. My word choice was a bit strong, right about that.
hey! I liked Soleil too! :]
On topic: Congrats to the happy couple! :]
with all the typos/misspellings, maybe kattis is soleil?
BOOM. ROASTED.
Well buhu Im so sad. English is not my main language. If you can understand it is the main thing. If not please ask and I will explain it to you.
haha! boom. roasted! is one of the best office lines EVER.
Love this post, and I don’t even know who Martin Landau is. You seem very funny :)
Gosh Kelly you’re sooo funny!!!
Glad to have you here :)
First off I was shocked to hear that Martin Landau was still alive. I googled him and it turns out he has THREE friggin movies coming out! Beyond scary….
Then I wondered how old Harrison Ford was-like 66 years old. Is it necessary to get engaged at 66? Did he pop the question now because he realized that he was gonna forget what the question even was soon?
And when you are living together for what seems like forever, do you have to alert the media that you want to be with them? It’s not like they announced their marriage-just their intention. Maybe someone needed publicity.
Gosh Kelly you’re sooo funny!! :)
Wow, don’t you think these two are taking it a bit too fast?
OMG, Kelly, you’re hilarious! :D
Great to have you on the Beet!
Do you know what needs to die?
Harrison Ford’s lame ass circa 1984 Kip Winger earring.
Kelly!!! You are a snarky genious! The Martin Landau observation was very clever! Aren’t you already married?… is priceless.
How nice to be LOOKING FORWARD to weekend EB again, after being forced away by lack of witty, intelligent, and clever posts for months!!
Sasha-Wendie-Kelly = fabulosity cubed!
agreed. very happy with this!
So far Kelly, you’re starting out strong. I like everything I’ve read of yours and look forward two more
btw, the “two” was intentional for the grammar patrol
I liked Soleil too! Mean people suck.
“Next week I’ll be announcing that I’ve been born. ” that’s too funny
OMG. Peed my pants. You are one funny lady.
Haha this post was very funny. Nice job, Kelly!
BAHahahahahaha you’re frickin’ hilarious LOVE IT Yeah I really thought they were already married…congrats folks
Kelly is awesome!! I have a new reason to smoke pot!
This is auwsum, I suhappy frem them to. Got to het the bvooks now, buh bay.