Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Geri Halliwell Discovers That Marriage Means No Screwing Of Other Dudes; Calls Off Engagement Immediately

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Geri Halliwell has called off her three month long engagement to billionaire Fabrizio Politi.  Why don’t these things ever endure?  I mean, if two people who get engaged fourteen days after meeting can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

The Daily Mail reports it like this:  “But the couple’s love affair came to an abrupt halt after Geri reportedly woke up last week and realised she ‘wasn’t the marrying type.'”

Let me be clear:  The only way you just wake up one day and suddenly realize you aren’t the marrying type, is when you roll over and enjoy some afterglow with a dude that isn’t your fiance-that is a pretty good indicator.  Of course DM makes it sound like God just swooped down one fine morning and whispered in her ear, “Psst…Geri, marriage isn’t for you.”

So, Ginger can’t keep it in her pants.  She’s got a wayward snatch.  Hey, can we start calling her Ginger Twat?  It could be the 2009 version of Fire Crotch.  You know “twat” is like, my favorite word ever; It’s so versatile.

Now that Halliwell is single, she can concentrate on raising her daughter and generously spreading her legs kindness to nations in need.  She is a UN Goodwill Ambassador after all.

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