Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Scarlett Johansson Is So Not Into Teeth Whitening. Or Normal Nostrils, For That Matter


Last night was the LA premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You.  We already saw what anorex-shrek looked like, but what do you think of Scarlett Johansson’s new look?  I struggle every single time I write her last name.  I have a mental block against the spelling; the mnemonic device of “slutty Scarlett” has helped greatly.

Angie Dickinson Drew Barrymore was seen hugging Justin Long which should prompt a rash of “Drew and Mac Guy Reunited” stories; I was just grateful for the embrace so I didn’t have to look at the stains on his shirt or that frosted Revlon “Pink in the Afternoon” lipstick crap she’s so committed to lately.  Or her dress.  Or tongue ring…sigh.

The best Jennifer Aniston could do was an uncombed ponytail and unknown soap star, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, accessorized her Long John Silver’s uniform with croc shoe boots and a large patent leather maxi-pad.  Kevin Connolly is still cute, Ben Affleck wishes he was dead and Jimmy Fallon’s wife is getting better looking with time.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Scarlete Ohara had to make a dress out of her Nannas sun room curtians.

    Bitch needs to be blonde because other wise shes a total butta head.


  • wendie, you have never sooo nailed a post. wtf is up with all those people? stained (and greasy looking) clothing, uncombed hair, etc.

    i never thought i’d feel sorry for ben affleck, but i’m gonna have nana light a candle for him tonight.

  • oh PLEASE. you are so sad. scarlett’s still way more gorgeous than you’ll ever HOPE to be. leave her alone! apparently you’re not that into ugly mole removal.

    • In regards to the previous post, just on behalf of Beet, Wendie posted this. Beet’s the one with the BARELY NOTICABLE UNLESS ALPHA-ZOOMED mole, so get your shit right before you decide to badger out some completely futile insult. “oH pUhLeAsE!!”

    • I agree, she’s gorgeous. Her teeth are fine, just because her teeth are not bleached to look fake like everyone else.

    • Youre a fat girl, arent you thetan eater?
      Thetan eater Theatan eater.
      Now go change your kitty litter and wash your grandmaws ass boil simpleton!

      Rebecca sucks titties!

  • She she have her sloppy jowels sawzalled? She looks better. Yes, she had a nosejob years ago. The bottom half of her face just ruins her. Keep sticking your chest out, Scarl.

  • Why are you picking on her? She is one of the few intelligent and talented young actresses in hollywood right now. Lay off.

  • lol @ ” Ben Affleck wishes he was dead ”

    also-ick, drew. tongue ring? what is this, 1998? aren’t you in your mid-30s or something? don’t do it!

  • hey man, awesome post, I really enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work man, if you keep up posts like this your blog will be a hit in no time :)

    BTW, I was reading another blog and this guy seemed to have your style… is this another of your blogs? Teeth Bleaching

    Anyway, thanks for the read, I’ll be back soon :D