Tom Cruise was in South Korea over the weekend promoting his film, Valkyrie. “I’ve always wanted to kill Hitler. As a child, I used to wonder why someone didn’t stand up and kill him,” Cruise told reporters. If his mother loved him, she could have saved him a lot of angst by letting him know that the reason no one stood up and killed Hitler was because he already did himself the favor seventeen years before Cruise was born.
Since my childhood aspirations didn’t extend much past conquering Pong or feathering Kissing Barbie’s hair with safety scissors, I can’t relate to such lofty goals. Dictator assassination seems so ambitious for a grade-schooler to contemplate. He really is a superhero, wanting to kill the dead. It’s why he can get away with the turtleneck/sportcoat/mom jean combo.
I love blogs that combine wit and intelligence. This one has it. Also, I must commend the Evil Beet on being the hardest working team of gossip bloggers out there. There is always something new, every time one enters the site. Ted Casablancas of the Awful Truth has yet to post a thing, and The Superficial evidently has not rolled out of bed. Perez Hilton, to quote himself, is just a “douche bag” (He really could stand to be a bit more eloquent when he is hurling insults at the rich and famous. All he does is call people “douche bags” – how 7th grade). You all never appear to sleep, and you don’t miss a trick. Thank you for helping me start my day with a laugh. And, you’re right; Tom Cruise, bless his heart, really does need to be on medication. Perhaps as Hitler has not seen fit to rise from the dead, Tom will burn him in effigy.
I don’t think it’s that unusual for kids to care about big issues. When I was six, I was deeply disappointed to discover that joining Greenpeace didn’t mean I would be able to actually go out and chain myself to Japanese whaling ships. I wanted to do something active to stop them!
Not that this means Tom doesn’t have a bag of issues. Or that I don’t either, I suppose!
agreed. well under the age of ten I used to get very upset about historical events – Hitler and Stalin I found very interesting and I used to write stories about what would have happend if they had not existed or had won the war
Too true. When I was nine I had made plans for turning the US into a government dangerously similar to communism…until my mom told me that sort of government already existed and it didn’t work very well (hello Cuba and China etc)
LOL! Thanks, Wendie, this was a fun laugh to read this little article this morning. I really love your writing, bella! “lofty aspirations, wanting to kill the dead…” lmao!
Yess I think Wendie has finally settled down here quite nicely. :) But I still love Tom Cruise so yaknow. :(
Whatever his aspirations were as a kid, as an adult he could have phrased it better, like “I always wished I could have gone back in time and killed Hitler.” Saying it the way he did just sounds stupid, like Hitler is still alive.
true.
but isnt that a bit violent for a nineyearold?
killing someone?
i mean, its justified,
but fantasizing over killing someone at age nine is not healthy.
Wow. I hadn’t noticed the jeans until, er, you mentioned the mom jeans. Wow. Wow. Horf.
Horf?! Ha ha ha! :)
When I was studying the Holocaust in 4th grade, I do admit that I did have a fantasy in which I freed all the Jews from the Concentration Camp and then ran in on Hitler making a big speech and shouting “NO SO FAST, ADOLF! I’VE FOILED YOUR PLAN!” But I’m pretty sure I was falling asleep at the time of this fantasy and therefore not fully conscious. I wonder when the last time was that Tom Cruise has ever been fully conscious…?
And major lulz @ his “turtleneck/sportcoat/mom jean combo”
tisk tisk tisk…..scientology cannot possibly be good for anyone….
Funny post Wendie, but it’s obvious that he meant “stand up back then and kill him.” Yeah, I so used to love him. Now – not so much.
Wendie I think you took his statement totally out of context. It is one of those statements where the person doesn’t word it properly but you still know what it is that they meant to say. The Beet makes remarks that are intelligent and insightful yet you continually say the stupidest shit just to get an easy laugh and to sound witty but in actuality you come across as nothing more than a dumb-ass reaching pathetically beyond your abilities.
Very true. Cruise is gay, a secret known by everyone at Hollywood. His marriages/relationships were all business contracts in xchange for more publicity on both sides, more money, fame etc. He always has got strong PR ppl + hes a Scientologist so who could mess with him… Remember a few years ago when he said he’s straight and he can prove it in the court? Who the hell was going to ask him to prove that in the court? So all aces are in his sleeve. But not forever…
I wanna kill cruise more then Hitler, honestly, not j/k either so don’t think i am